Eyes Cried Shut

mood: not seeing very well
music: everybody hurts - r.e.m ("well everybody hurts sometimes, everybody cries.")

woke up this morning with a papabear of a headache. went to the miror and got the shock of my life..."WHO'S THAT?!" i said...hah! almost couldn't recognize myself with the swollen eyes. i looked like...(was thinking of a truck reference, but wtf...)

ok wait a minute. i said i was gonna move on get over it right? ok ok trying...trrrryiiiing. *takes a deep breath*

chatted with ice for a 'lil bit last night. thanks girl. even though it was very very very sad, i think we both took a bit away from that. i found some comfort, dearie. thanks. you are an amazingly strong person and i know i can always lean on you... : ) we should meet up more often. we don't talk enough.

a friend suggested i call my special angel to close all loops. the friend said that since i'm on an i've-turned-over-a-new-leaf binge, i should be able to talk to my special angel. the friend had read this blog and said i had to let go and move on and that it was "part of my rehabilitation process". *ahaks*...that's a load of bull, friend. but i did it anyway...i called my special angel and we talked for a bit. as usual, my special angel was kind and always ready with a listening ear and knew what to say. i have faith in my special angel. and i do not regret the call. i'm glad i know my special angel. even if we're dimensions apart.

awak...i know you are very tired and you're going thru some tough times. i'm here for you, always always. thanks for protecting me from the pain and shielding me from the hurt...so trust me when i say all this pain and hurt i'm feeling are self-inflicted.

i promise i will soon smile and laugh again.

how not to, when you're around to colour my world?