where are we? what are we doing here?
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Sunday, June 12, 2011
And The Rain Comes Pouring Down
And The Rain Comes Pouring Down
it's wednesday 8 june 2011 2309 hrs. it's pouring outside and i've just hung my laundry out to dry. all three babies are asleep...and as for me, will i ever learn not to take green tea after 5pm?
i've just finished isya prayers and yes, with the rain outside, i sincerely pray that Allah grants my doa. isn't it funny that whatever you ask for may not be good for you, and what you don't want may be what He has destined for you? such is the test of one's faith, to have belief in The Ultimate Planner.
it's my 10th day of holiday which means i have spent 10 days cleaning the house (seriously, i hate cleaning!) and 9 home cooked meals (because that 1 day was sunday and we had a huge lunch at a family's jemputan which served ayam percik).
i have 20 days left before the next insane semester starts again and from what i've been told from the senior, the past semester was going to be child's play compared to the horror to come. i seriously do not know how i'm going to cope with the increasing workload. Allah grant me the strength to get through this, please.
do you think that it's wrong to think about the past? about how things were different? about the choices you made that got you where you are today? how you wished you had done differently, made different decisions? hindsight is always 20-20 they say...the trick is finding the power to make your situation better, right?
yes there are days i think back and wonder how different my life could be.
it's wednesday 8 june 2011 2309 hrs. it's pouring outside and i've just hung my laundry out to dry. all three babies are asleep...and as for me, will i ever learn not to take green tea after 5pm?
i've just finished isya prayers and yes, with the rain outside, i sincerely pray that Allah grants my doa. isn't it funny that whatever you ask for may not be good for you, and what you don't want may be what He has destined for you? such is the test of one's faith, to have belief in The Ultimate Planner.
it's my 10th day of holiday which means i have spent 10 days cleaning the house (seriously, i hate cleaning!) and 9 home cooked meals (because that 1 day was sunday and we had a huge lunch at a family's jemputan which served ayam percik).
i have 20 days left before the next insane semester starts again and from what i've been told from the senior, the past semester was going to be child's play compared to the horror to come. i seriously do not know how i'm going to cope with the increasing workload. Allah grant me the strength to get through this, please.
do you think that it's wrong to think about the past? about how things were different? about the choices you made that got you where you are today? how you wished you had done differently, made different decisions? hindsight is always 20-20 they say...the trick is finding the power to make your situation better, right?
yes there are days i think back and wonder how different my life could be.
Aper Dah Jadi...?
Aper Dah Jadi...?
hai lah kasem...aper dah jadi...
yes so i had the proverbial mid life crisis and decided i didn’t want to keep doing what i was doing for the rest of my life. so very gatal and decided to change careers, starting from scratch all over again. thinking that it’d make me happy, if i were doing something really meaningful with my life. it was exactly this kind of wishful thinking that brought me here today. Feeling lower than plankton’s poop.
i’m supposedly supposed to be having my reading week (studying week lah tu) and exams are on next monday and thursday. not forgetting the trauma of the paper ones last week, i now have to study and delve deeper into the subjects covered there in greater detail for the paper twos. yup, macam tak cukup gitu kan? my two main subjects are anatomy & physiology and linguistics. hahah no prizes for guessing which i thought i would do better in...but guess what? both are equally tough! Or it could just be me, strangely slow in picking things up? Or it is my brain, less plastic after leaving school for so many years?
i am so tired. truly.
but nope! shan’t talk about that today. let’s try to survive my first semester, and i’ll see if i’m not too traumatised to share....
hmn...let’s look at the bright side and appreciate the gifts from God, shall we? my two tots...are a complete handful. amirhamzacubitbarutahu seems to discover new ways of testing my patience, while amnihanaagigitbarutahu is fast learning new ways of buat muka kesian.
i’m running out of ways to threaten and punish them, mainly coz i’m such a big wuss and could never carry out the punishment that i threaten them with. yeah yeah i know that’s like the cardinal rule of parenting, right? i must mean what i say. yesterday i told amir hamza that if he said “bontot” one more time, i’ll put him in the store room, where all the “ghosts”, “cicaks” and “lipas” of our house resides. (now, i myself had this punishment inflicted upon me during my childhood days, but that’s story for another day).
soon enough, he said it and as soon as he did, looked at me with a half-amused, half-expectant expression on his face. perhaps it was a combination of my tiredness, or the weather, or my hungriness or the fact that amni hanaa was sucking on my knees at that time, i stood up. firmly pulled him to the store room and put him in it. lest u think i’m heartless, i didn’t shut the door lah, just kept it slightly ajar but he couldn’t push it open from inside.
yes he was crying and screaming, for the whole of the two minutes i left him there. amni hanaa being the ever so helpful little sister, waved at him from the gap in the door, konon nak comfort along dia lah. as soon as two minutes was up, i opened the door and sat down on the sofa. amir hamza came running out wailing “sorry ummi!” and immediately ran to me, expecting a hug. i really was in no mood to molly cuddle or kasi muka dengan dia and i wanted to re-establish my “parental prestige” (chey chey chey) with him. so i held him at an arm’s length and looked him in the eyes and told him what he did was wrong, and that i was very upset with him and so was Allah (we recently taught him the concept of Allah, and tak boleh kasi Allah marah, and Allah saying kita and kalau ikut cakap Allah, nanti dapat pahala, etc).
and i’m pleased to report that the offensive word has not been heard uttered since!
“Oh Allah, my children are rightfully Yours, loaned to me to test my life here in this world. Grant me the abilities to do right by them and carry out my responsibilities the best I know how. “
"And please also throw in some extra brain power for me to do well in my studies, please."
hai lah kasem...aper dah jadi...
yes so i had the proverbial mid life crisis and decided i didn’t want to keep doing what i was doing for the rest of my life. so very gatal and decided to change careers, starting from scratch all over again. thinking that it’d make me happy, if i were doing something really meaningful with my life. it was exactly this kind of wishful thinking that brought me here today. Feeling lower than plankton’s poop.
i’m supposedly supposed to be having my reading week (studying week lah tu) and exams are on next monday and thursday. not forgetting the trauma of the paper ones last week, i now have to study and delve deeper into the subjects covered there in greater detail for the paper twos. yup, macam tak cukup gitu kan? my two main subjects are anatomy & physiology and linguistics. hahah no prizes for guessing which i thought i would do better in...but guess what? both are equally tough! Or it could just be me, strangely slow in picking things up? Or it is my brain, less plastic after leaving school for so many years?
i am so tired. truly.
but nope! shan’t talk about that today. let’s try to survive my first semester, and i’ll see if i’m not too traumatised to share....
hmn...let’s look at the bright side and appreciate the gifts from God, shall we? my two tots...are a complete handful. amirhamzacubitbarutahu seems to discover new ways of testing my patience, while amnihanaagigitbarutahu is fast learning new ways of buat muka kesian.
i’m running out of ways to threaten and punish them, mainly coz i’m such a big wuss and could never carry out the punishment that i threaten them with. yeah yeah i know that’s like the cardinal rule of parenting, right? i must mean what i say. yesterday i told amir hamza that if he said “bontot” one more time, i’ll put him in the store room, where all the “ghosts”, “cicaks” and “lipas” of our house resides. (now, i myself had this punishment inflicted upon me during my childhood days, but that’s story for another day).
soon enough, he said it and as soon as he did, looked at me with a half-amused, half-expectant expression on his face. perhaps it was a combination of my tiredness, or the weather, or my hungriness or the fact that amni hanaa was sucking on my knees at that time, i stood up. firmly pulled him to the store room and put him in it. lest u think i’m heartless, i didn’t shut the door lah, just kept it slightly ajar but he couldn’t push it open from inside.
yes he was crying and screaming, for the whole of the two minutes i left him there. amni hanaa being the ever so helpful little sister, waved at him from the gap in the door, konon nak comfort along dia lah. as soon as two minutes was up, i opened the door and sat down on the sofa. amir hamza came running out wailing “sorry ummi!” and immediately ran to me, expecting a hug. i really was in no mood to molly cuddle or kasi muka dengan dia and i wanted to re-establish my “parental prestige” (chey chey chey) with him. so i held him at an arm’s length and looked him in the eyes and told him what he did was wrong, and that i was very upset with him and so was Allah (we recently taught him the concept of Allah, and tak boleh kasi Allah marah, and Allah saying kita and kalau ikut cakap Allah, nanti dapat pahala, etc).
and i’m pleased to report that the offensive word has not been heard uttered since!
“Oh Allah, my children are rightfully Yours, loaned to me to test my life here in this world. Grant me the abilities to do right by them and carry out my responsibilities the best I know how. “
"And please also throw in some extra brain power for me to do well in my studies, please."
(backpost) Amni Hanaa - The Birth Story
Amni Hanaa - The Birth Story
she was born a month ago...so before i forget, this is the story of how she came into the world.
5 April 2010
1025hrs: 29 wks check-up with dr biswas. i told him i was feeling fine, no contractions nor show nor pain anywhere. my blood pressure was behaving. i simply complained that i was feeling really really tired all the time (hint! hint! read: put me on hospitalization leave until my EDD please) and so he did! a VE revealed that i have not dilated so he did some stretching or something and he said most probably he will see me again within the next 24hrs. i gleefully left the clinic announcing my hosp leave to colleagues and family. went home to rest and had a nice loooong nap.
6 April 2010
0530hrs: subh. abi asked how i was feeling and i said i was feeling perfectly fine. no contractions, no show, no water bag, nothing. just still very sleepy. so he went to work and i went back to sleep.
0630hrs: amir hamza kicked me out of bed. i got up and showered and got him ready to send him to cik tina's house.
0700hrs: came back from cik tina's place. started to feel funny.
0730hrs: ok now not so funny. i've never felt contactions during hamza's time, so i wasn't sure if this is it? sat down and tried to concentrate on the feelings. but cannot be! they're only 5 mins apart! should they get progressively faster? like 15mins...then 10 mins...then 5 mins? how come mine are already 5 mins apart?!
0747hrs: yup...these are contractions! confirm! steadily coming in 5 mins interval, lasting about 20 secs each time.
0803hrs: contractions are now about 40sec long. called NUH's delivery hotline where i told the nurse that i have GB6 and would need antibiotics at least 4hrs before delivery. she said to keep monitoring the contractions and my pain score. called and updated abi.
08421hrs: needed to pee. oh hello show! called the nurse again and she said to come in already. summoned abi home.
0930hrs: abi reached home and i called a cab. waiting at the lift lobby, i cursed the hdb scholar who approved the design of the estate to have such a stupid carpark and lift lobby layout. not the first time a taxi has problems reaching my lift lobby.
1000hrs: reached NUH Emergency. pushed to Ward 22 and registered. already 5cm dilated!
1100hrs: antibiotics? check! drip? check! say hello to the anesthesiologist who's here to give me my happydural. i told her the first guy who did it during hamza's time took FOUR tries to get it in. that's 8 jabs! she was shocked and promised to try to get it right the first time. i don't know about you, but getting the epidural very very very very painful. she got it in the 2nd attempt and apologized. apparently i have a small back and column there is kindda narrow.
1130hrs: rest time! told abi to have his lunch. i took the time to ngaji and zikr and relax.
1230hrs: abi came back from lunch (amboi! lunch hour ke pe?) bringing me a giant ice cold bottle of evian. since i'm not allowed any food, i gulped the water by the mouthful.
1245hrs: *sob* *sob* the happydural starts to wear off. feeling the contractions all over again...dr biswas came by and checked. i'm already at 8cm! strangely, despite all the water i was "sipping", i developed a dry throat which caused a coughing fit which led to me throwing up.
1315hr: my room was bustling with activity with various nurses coming and going. perhaps i was the only patient in active labour at that time. i heard a familar voice coming through the doors. it's nurse shefaly!!! she's a mid-career switch nurse whom i've worked with on many promotional activities. she's now a preceptor with the O&G dept and she has a bunch of students along with her today. she made arrangements for another preceptor to take her kids as she wanted to help me with my delivery. with my permission, she took two kids to stay with her and observe.
1330hrs: ok seriously...i can't tell when the contractions started and when it ended. it was just painful ALL THE TIME. abi had to look at the print-outs to tell me when one was coming. another coughing fit and i threw up again.
1345hrs: through all the pain and shivering i felt the need to buang air besar. the thought struck me as being hilarious. how can i be thinking of pooping at a time like this? and how can i want to poop when i haven't had anything since last night's dinner? ok then the ball drops and i realized what i was feeling was the need to push. haha!
1450hrs: dr biswas finally arrived. i was concentrating on the contractions and breathing and i was relatively calm. until i heard him say "scalpel." waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat??????????? started to push. this time round i could hold the pushes for longer, up to 15 counts. but oh the pain...ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
1412hrs: out comes amni hanaa... : )
1413hrs: dr biswas started to deliver the placenta. my coughing fits worsened and i threw up the remaining water in my stomach. as dr biswas was sewing, i kept coughing and he had to stop, lest he ended up giving crooked stitches.
1415hrs: ok all done! thanked everyone and had my baby girl in my arms for the first time.
and that's how amni hanaa came into the world.
end note: ok i just realized i don't have a birth story for amir hamza! how did that happen? hah! ok next entry!
she was born a month ago...so before i forget, this is the story of how she came into the world.
5 April 2010
1025hrs: 29 wks check-up with dr biswas. i told him i was feeling fine, no contractions nor show nor pain anywhere. my blood pressure was behaving. i simply complained that i was feeling really really tired all the time (hint! hint! read: put me on hospitalization leave until my EDD please) and so he did! a VE revealed that i have not dilated so he did some stretching or something and he said most probably he will see me again within the next 24hrs. i gleefully left the clinic announcing my hosp leave to colleagues and family. went home to rest and had a nice loooong nap.
6 April 2010
0530hrs: subh. abi asked how i was feeling and i said i was feeling perfectly fine. no contractions, no show, no water bag, nothing. just still very sleepy. so he went to work and i went back to sleep.
0630hrs: amir hamza kicked me out of bed. i got up and showered and got him ready to send him to cik tina's house.
0700hrs: came back from cik tina's place. started to feel funny.
0730hrs: ok now not so funny. i've never felt contactions during hamza's time, so i wasn't sure if this is it? sat down and tried to concentrate on the feelings. but cannot be! they're only 5 mins apart! should they get progressively faster? like 15mins...then 10 mins...then 5 mins? how come mine are already 5 mins apart?!
0747hrs: yup...these are contractions! confirm! steadily coming in 5 mins interval, lasting about 20 secs each time.
0803hrs: contractions are now about 40sec long. called NUH's delivery hotline where i told the nurse that i have GB6 and would need antibiotics at least 4hrs before delivery. she said to keep monitoring the contractions and my pain score. called and updated abi.
08421hrs: needed to pee. oh hello show! called the nurse again and she said to come in already. summoned abi home.
0930hrs: abi reached home and i called a cab. waiting at the lift lobby, i cursed the hdb scholar who approved the design of the estate to have such a stupid carpark and lift lobby layout. not the first time a taxi has problems reaching my lift lobby.
1000hrs: reached NUH Emergency. pushed to Ward 22 and registered. already 5cm dilated!
1100hrs: antibiotics? check! drip? check! say hello to the anesthesiologist who's here to give me my happydural. i told her the first guy who did it during hamza's time took FOUR tries to get it in. that's 8 jabs! she was shocked and promised to try to get it right the first time. i don't know about you, but getting the epidural very very very very painful. she got it in the 2nd attempt and apologized. apparently i have a small back and column there is kindda narrow.
1130hrs: rest time! told abi to have his lunch. i took the time to ngaji and zikr and relax.
1230hrs: abi came back from lunch (amboi! lunch hour ke pe?) bringing me a giant ice cold bottle of evian. since i'm not allowed any food, i gulped the water by the mouthful.
1245hrs: *sob* *sob* the happydural starts to wear off. feeling the contractions all over again...dr biswas came by and checked. i'm already at 8cm! strangely, despite all the water i was "sipping", i developed a dry throat which caused a coughing fit which led to me throwing up.
1315hr: my room was bustling with activity with various nurses coming and going. perhaps i was the only patient in active labour at that time. i heard a familar voice coming through the doors. it's nurse shefaly!!! she's a mid-career switch nurse whom i've worked with on many promotional activities. she's now a preceptor with the O&G dept and she has a bunch of students along with her today. she made arrangements for another preceptor to take her kids as she wanted to help me with my delivery. with my permission, she took two kids to stay with her and observe.
1330hrs: ok seriously...i can't tell when the contractions started and when it ended. it was just painful ALL THE TIME. abi had to look at the print-outs to tell me when one was coming. another coughing fit and i threw up again.
1345hrs: through all the pain and shivering i felt the need to buang air besar. the thought struck me as being hilarious. how can i be thinking of pooping at a time like this? and how can i want to poop when i haven't had anything since last night's dinner? ok then the ball drops and i realized what i was feeling was the need to push. haha!
1450hrs: dr biswas finally arrived. i was concentrating on the contractions and breathing and i was relatively calm. until i heard him say "scalpel." waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat??????????? started to push. this time round i could hold the pushes for longer, up to 15 counts. but oh the pain...ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
1412hrs: out comes amni hanaa... : )
1413hrs: dr biswas started to deliver the placenta. my coughing fits worsened and i threw up the remaining water in my stomach. as dr biswas was sewing, i kept coughing and he had to stop, lest he ended up giving crooked stitches.
1415hrs: ok all done! thanked everyone and had my baby girl in my arms for the first time.
and that's how amni hanaa came into the world.
end note: ok i just realized i don't have a birth story for amir hamza! how did that happen? hah! ok next entry!
(backpost) Amir Hamza - The Birth Story
Amir Hamza - The Birth Story
he is almost three! and before i start forgetting any details, this is the story of how he came into the world.
thurs 24 apr
lunch: went for a good lunch. my colleague casually mentioned that today i was extra neat, dusting my desk and putting away my things. : )
tea break: my neighbour pulak comment, "eh you are very neat today. your desk is not messy at all! you are making me nervous."
after dinner: feeling some cramps around my pelvic and abdomen but naively did not suspect anything. so innocent, right? continued to toss and turn the whole night through.
fri 25 apr
5am: woke up to pee. oh oh there's blood! just a bit, but but...*panic sekejap* (biasa lah, first time per...)
8am plus: heading for check-up at 10am with abi! stopped at macs to get an SME and iced milo. brother (pak supir for the day) and thither came to fetch us since she also had a check up around the same time at KKH. somewhat gleefully i updated them that hey maybe i've been having mini contractions throughout the night and my show came this morning! hahha..brother dropped me off at NUH and headed to KKH.
10am plus: yup, in labour! at 3cm dilated, dr biswas dispatched us upstairs to the delivery suites. the anaesthetist was there and ready to gimme my happydural. which was, until that point of time, THE MOST (and i am not exxagerating here) PAINFUL experience of my life and made me also prefer the pain of contractions that to be jabbed 8 times. hahahhah...
12pm plus: aby left for prayers, lunch and home to get our baby bag. blissfully and legally drugged, i drifted in and out of sleep, zikir-ing now and again. checked with the family too - ahaha! thither pun kena warded!
2pm: aby came back with some contraband (ice cold pokka green tea). i was not allowed any food...HUNGRY! 4 cm dilated. what!!! talked long and honestly with aby and laughed and tried to focus on what was happening.
6pm: dr biswas popped in for a quick visit. 6 cm only! time to break the water bag. now between this time and the actual birth, i lost all concept of being coz the pain was too much. they sneakily halved the happydural dosage so i'd know when to push, but for the life of me i couldn't feel anything other than pain in that general area! i remember abi holding me on one side and the nurse on the other. he kept saying, "ok dear last push. you can do it!" but it was the "last push" for probably around 100 times. oh and yeah! dr biswas pun so stern. at one point he actually said "don't cry. crying will not get you anywhere." !@#$%^&**!!
2346hrs: amir hamza came into this world. : ) both of us got cleaned up, dressed and moved to ward 96.
sat 26 apr
0912hrs: thither pun give birth finally...hello ilyas izzuddin!
he is almost three! and before i start forgetting any details, this is the story of how he came into the world.
thurs 24 apr
lunch: went for a good lunch. my colleague casually mentioned that today i was extra neat, dusting my desk and putting away my things. : )
tea break: my neighbour pulak comment, "eh you are very neat today. your desk is not messy at all! you are making me nervous."
after dinner: feeling some cramps around my pelvic and abdomen but naively did not suspect anything. so innocent, right? continued to toss and turn the whole night through.
fri 25 apr
5am: woke up to pee. oh oh there's blood! just a bit, but but...*panic sekejap* (biasa lah, first time per...)
8am plus: heading for check-up at 10am with abi! stopped at macs to get an SME and iced milo. brother (pak supir for the day) and thither came to fetch us since she also had a check up around the same time at KKH. somewhat gleefully i updated them that hey maybe i've been having mini contractions throughout the night and my show came this morning! hahha..brother dropped me off at NUH and headed to KKH.
10am plus: yup, in labour! at 3cm dilated, dr biswas dispatched us upstairs to the delivery suites. the anaesthetist was there and ready to gimme my happydural. which was, until that point of time, THE MOST (and i am not exxagerating here) PAINFUL experience of my life and made me also prefer the pain of contractions that to be jabbed 8 times. hahahhah...
12pm plus: aby left for prayers, lunch and home to get our baby bag. blissfully and legally drugged, i drifted in and out of sleep, zikir-ing now and again. checked with the family too - ahaha! thither pun kena warded!
2pm: aby came back with some contraband (ice cold pokka green tea). i was not allowed any food...HUNGRY! 4 cm dilated. what!!! talked long and honestly with aby and laughed and tried to focus on what was happening.
6pm: dr biswas popped in for a quick visit. 6 cm only! time to break the water bag. now between this time and the actual birth, i lost all concept of being coz the pain was too much. they sneakily halved the happydural dosage so i'd know when to push, but for the life of me i couldn't feel anything other than pain in that general area! i remember abi holding me on one side and the nurse on the other. he kept saying, "ok dear last push. you can do it!" but it was the "last push" for probably around 100 times. oh and yeah! dr biswas pun so stern. at one point he actually said "don't cry. crying will not get you anywhere." !@#$%^&**!!
2346hrs: amir hamza came into this world. : ) both of us got cleaned up, dressed and moved to ward 96.
sat 26 apr
0912hrs: thither pun give birth finally...hello ilyas izzuddin!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Honeymoon Langkawi Jan 2010
Honeymoon Langkawi Jan 2010
our 5 day escape to Langkawi for a rest after a hectic hectic December as I was "grounded" in office, thanks to a team member who had a birthday in the Christmas week, and another who had a birthday in the New Year week. so in January, aku pun balas dendam.
sand in his hand
penat cowwwwwwwwwwwww.
couple time!
our 5 day escape to Langkawi for a rest after a hectic hectic December as I was "grounded" in office, thanks to a team member who had a birthday in the Christmas week, and another who had a birthday in the New Year week. so in January, aku pun balas dendam.
sand in his hand
penat cowwwwwwwwwwwww. halfway climbing down 10 flights of stairs to reach the suspension bridge.
hah not sure why he looks like a grumpypotamus here.
on the way back to the hotel, we stopped at perdana quay to have dinner at “the loaf”, the bakery-cum-restaurant owned by tun mahathir.
at the top of the waterfalls.
hah not sure why he looks like a grumpypotamus here.
on the way back to the hotel, we stopped at perdana quay to have dinner at “the loaf”, the bakery-cum-restaurant owned by tun mahathir.
at the top of the waterfalls.
couple time!For more pics, visit Langkawi Jan 2010
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Mrs Duck And Mr Sheep
Mrs Duck and Mr Sheep
i am pregnant again. another bundle of joy is expected to arrive in april 2010.
excited?
over-the-moon?
worried?
anxious?
all of the above.
who said it was easier the second time round? well, i’ve been told the actual delivery will be way easier and faster, but that’s about it. i had morning sickness, afternoon sickness and night sickness this time round, and up till today, in my 19th week, i still do my occasional merlion impersonation. i had friends thinking i was expecting even before i was and recently my dear beloved mother herself has been offering me clothes – those that has gotten too big for her.
*gasp*
yes, go ahead. gasp away. i haven’t really lost the weight i happily put on for hamza, but thanks to all my merlion impersonations and heartburns which started too early at 12 weeks, i have not gained a single kilo. not possible, you say, but pelik tapi benar, it’s true, whatever weight i’m gaining for the baby and the waterbag is being off-set(ed) by losing fat somewhere else. the scales don’t lie, honey.
hamza treated me like a leper in the first few weeks. when alone with me, he would go from room to room searching for his dad, shouting “abi? abi?” in that sing-song tone that i’m actually guilty of. only recently he started getting clingy with me, poking my tummy saying “baby!”
but that’s probably thanks to aby’s new working arrangements. he’s up at 5am, leaves home by 6am and reports in by 7am. after a few weeks, i observed that it has a physical effect on him as he is barely conscious after isya’. but it’s a good job with good pay and good benefits so i’m not complaining. : )
work is …well, work. my boss left for greener pastures, and there is such as huge sense of relief. i no longer dread going to work as much, i don’t think of work all the time, i don’t have nightmares the night before ghrm meetings. but after two years of being subjected to her training, it was inevitable that i (yes, about to have a masuk-bakul-angkat-sendiri moment here) have learnt the best from her and performed better at my work. everyone knows this, and they all have a certain expectation for “jacq’s girls”. i just have to constantly remind myself not to over-do the high standards and especially not impose them on others. on days that work does get to me, i go home and pour my heart out to the grumpy 18-month-old boy at home, who will listen attentively to my ranting, nod at the appropriate moments, and share nuggets of wisdom on life with me over his farmyard animals. if it’s a really bad day and only if i say "please", he might even let me kiss mrs duck and mr sheep for comfort.
*sigh*…the joys of being a toddler.
tell me again...why am i not an SAHM?
i bet i could make millions writing about the adventures of Mrs Sheep and Mr Duck.
i am pregnant again. another bundle of joy is expected to arrive in april 2010.
excited?
over-the-moon?
worried?
anxious?
all of the above.
who said it was easier the second time round? well, i’ve been told the actual delivery will be way easier and faster, but that’s about it. i had morning sickness, afternoon sickness and night sickness this time round, and up till today, in my 19th week, i still do my occasional merlion impersonation. i had friends thinking i was expecting even before i was and recently my dear beloved mother herself has been offering me clothes – those that has gotten too big for her.
*gasp*
yes, go ahead. gasp away. i haven’t really lost the weight i happily put on for hamza, but thanks to all my merlion impersonations and heartburns which started too early at 12 weeks, i have not gained a single kilo. not possible, you say, but pelik tapi benar, it’s true, whatever weight i’m gaining for the baby and the waterbag is being off-set(ed) by losing fat somewhere else. the scales don’t lie, honey.
hamza treated me like a leper in the first few weeks. when alone with me, he would go from room to room searching for his dad, shouting “abi? abi?” in that sing-song tone that i’m actually guilty of. only recently he started getting clingy with me, poking my tummy saying “baby!”
but that’s probably thanks to aby’s new working arrangements. he’s up at 5am, leaves home by 6am and reports in by 7am. after a few weeks, i observed that it has a physical effect on him as he is barely conscious after isya’. but it’s a good job with good pay and good benefits so i’m not complaining. : )
work is …well, work. my boss left for greener pastures, and there is such as huge sense of relief. i no longer dread going to work as much, i don’t think of work all the time, i don’t have nightmares the night before ghrm meetings. but after two years of being subjected to her training, it was inevitable that i (yes, about to have a masuk-bakul-angkat-sendiri moment here) have learnt the best from her and performed better at my work. everyone knows this, and they all have a certain expectation for “jacq’s girls”. i just have to constantly remind myself not to over-do the high standards and especially not impose them on others. on days that work does get to me, i go home and pour my heart out to the grumpy 18-month-old boy at home, who will listen attentively to my ranting, nod at the appropriate moments, and share nuggets of wisdom on life with me over his farmyard animals. if it’s a really bad day and only if i say "please", he might even let me kiss mrs duck and mr sheep for comfort.
*sigh*…the joys of being a toddler.
tell me again...why am i not an SAHM?
i bet i could make millions writing about the adventures of Mrs Sheep and Mr Duck.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Hari Raya Aidilfitri 2009
Hari Raya Aidilfitri 2009
i convinced him to wear his "songkok handsome". it worked!
family pic
the whole jamil tribe
for more pics, visit http://omnichups.multiply.com/photos/album/43/Hari_Raya_Aidilfitri_2009
i convinced him to wear his "songkok handsome". it worked!
family pic
the whole jamil tribe
penat collection!
for more pics, visit http://omnichups.multiply.com/photos/album/43/Hari_Raya_Aidilfitri_2009
Sunday, August 02, 2009
Happily Frustrate Mommy & Daddy Daily
Happily Frustrate Mommy & Daddy Daily
"here we are...this is not quite like the movies..." not sure by who but it's the trailer to jon & kate plus 8 on discovery home and health, hamza's favourite channel.
going full monty to keep him cool so he won't scratch.
while waiting, cik tina called to say that her daughter a.k.a hamza’s bestfriend, also has spots on her hands and feet and ulcers in her mouth. i knew then our fate was sealed , that we were not going to make it to the sohabahs reunion, and not risk faris, fadhil and farah. (eh they all start with f!!!) i also called thither to tell her of this development and to look out for the boys, especially ilyas who did the whole maori-like greeting with hamza on saturday. 
yup, i can send emails now! to ummi's boss!
"here we are...this is not quite like the movies..." not sure by who but it's the trailer to jon & kate plus 8 on discovery home and health, hamza's favourite channel.
i am soooooo tired.
but you got a whole week off from work!” i hear you say.
here’s a breakdown of my week. you tell me, penat ker tidak.
friday: picked hamza up from cik tina’s and the poor mite was lying helplessly in her arms running a temperature of 38.7. at home, gave him the paracetamol and sponged him down. he only slept at 10am plus, thanks to our constant sponging as he hates it when the cold cloth touches his skins. of course, us sticking the thermometer into his ear (albeit for a few seconds only) every 30 mins majorly pissed him off too. he woke up every hour that night.
saturday: he woke up at 7, all smiles and giggles. the fever has broken! alhamdulillah! we had some fish porridge for lunch, and i noticed red spots in his elbow. like me, he is allergic to some fish, so we didn’t think much of it. went to nenek’s house in the afternoon to make sheppard’s’ pie. abang ilhan and ilyas were there too! hamza and ilyas did their usual maori-like greeting, touching nose to nose, forehead to forehead, many many times. at 5pm, just as i was starting to add cheese to the potatoes, aby who had bathed him said, his fever’s back. ya Allah…panas nya! supposed to visit andak after maghrib, but shelved that plan and went home immediately. at home, another shower and paracet, and he slept at 7pm. i took the opportunity to peel 45 cloves of garlic in preparation for the aglio olio i was planning to make for the sohahabahs reunion the next day. right after i peeled the last one, hamza woke up. it was 11pm. fever is now at 39 so in goes the ibuprofen and more sponging him down. we tried to put him to sleep, but again he woke up every hour at 3am, we decided desperate times call for desperate actions. we packed him in the car, blasted the air-con full blast and drove at 50km/h on the kje to tuas. would have really ended in jb if we had our passports. drove around the jurong extension, tuas extension and only god knows where as aby played tour guide trying to keep me awake. hamza only fell asleep on the way back. we reached home nearly 5am and totally crashed after subh.
sunday: we woke up at around 9am, thanks to the sms from my sohabahs asking about the reunion that was due at 11am. i’m thinking “oh god i have 4 packets of spaghetti, 2 cans of mushrooms, a packet of chilli padi and a bottle of evoo, not to mention the 45 cloves of garlic." as aby showered hamza, we saw more spots on his wrists and ankles. but his fever’s gone! hmn…ok we’ll just go to the doctor, get some more meds and find out what’s wrong. if everything is ok, we’ll head to fauzan’s and i’ll just order pizza or something. so we headed down to dr helana’s.of course the queue was sooooo long, we waited at a fitness corner to give hamza some fresh air. and of course being civic minded people that we are, to keep his germs from everyone else.
going full monty to keep him cool so he won't scratch.
applying calamine lotion all over him.
"what's with the gooey cold stuff abi?"
monday: i felt a nagging feeling, like really tak puas hati with the doc. so we went back to dr
yup, i can send emails now! to ummi's boss!after lunch, he’d take a 2 hour nap while i tried to do whatever i can with the house and catch up on work emails. once he’s awake, he would demand play time again all the way until 5ish, where his abi comes home, when of course, once he’s home, i’m totally forgotten. that night i called cik tina to get an update on her daughter coz if she’s past the infectious stage, i’d want to sent hamza back there tomorrow and go back to work. instead, horror of horrors, she informs me her son has now caught it from her daughter. looks like i’m totally maxing out my childcare leave this year. second horror of horrors, poor ilyas has caught it too! so i warmly welcomed my thither to the happily frustrate mommy daily club. 
spot the baby!
spot the baby!and now…both babies are sound asleep. hamza developed a running nose just after asr today. have given him zyrtec and paracet, hopefully it’s just because of all the dust from the cleaning.
and i am going back to work in a few hours time.
so you tell me…you penat tak?
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Amir Hamza - 15 Months
Amir Hamza - 15 Months
Amir Hamza turns 15 months. A handful of cheekiness and some times, a grumpy old man in a 15 month old baby's body.
some weekends we'll head down to the water playground at Lot One. 
Amir Hamza turns 15 months. A handful of cheekiness and some times, a grumpy old man in a 15 month old baby's body.
we were shopping at giant jb and didn't bring the stroller.
he was too tired to eat. so we had to improvise.
he remained asleep after the took the stroller out.
at the clinic after a blood test.
he's fascinated by the band-aid on his index finger.
fooling around with my phone in the dark.
my colleague gloria gave this tent+balls set. he totally loves it.
i'm not too crazy about it because...well, guess whose job it is to pick up the stray balls all over the place?
caught you red-handed!
riding a bike...
...just like abi.
mother's dinner at Fish & Co.
icu had a drink that was bigger than hamza's face!
some weekends we'll head down to the water playground at Lot One. he loves getting wet and slowly daring to try all the water elements.
the taps and the buckets...
even if it squirts up into his face. he used to cry, but slowly he got used to it and has even learnt how to avoid getting water in his eyes.
and this is the part i like best...
when he crashes to sleep for a good 2 hours after a
mere 15 mins of water play...
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