Honeymoon

Our Sabah Sarawak Adventure

Day One - 27 May 2006

We started our adventure the night before by departing from Boon Lay Shopping Centre in a super cool and super fast bus ride to KL Pudu Raya. Having learnt my lesson from my previous LCCT brouhaha, we arrived at KLIA LCCT at the disgustingly early time of 5am. hello...our flight's at 9.30am. *grr*....we landed in Kota Kinabalu at 12.30pm, officially missing the jetty to Gayana Island and had to wait some more till 3.30pm when the next ferry departed.

The journey was well worth it. The ferry ride was very scenic. It being a Saturday and all, i was very surprised to see that there was hardly anybody around.





The 20-min ride brought us to Gayana Island Ecoresort. The view from out chalet was simply breathtaking...



Awak and i were dead tired from all that travelling from the night before, so we had an early dinner at the resort's seafood restaurant.



bathed by the approaching rain, we spent dinner reminiscing about our past, his BH 90210 hair days and my naughty years at CCKSS.

Day Two - 28 May 2006

Awak saved a life today! We were on our way to snorkelling just after breakfast when i spied a lil black bird swimming in the water.

Me: "Eh awak! See! That bird swimming!"
Awak: "Swimming ker haper. Dia jatuhlah."
Me: "HA?! Then he drowning? Dear YOU MUST SAVE HIM!"

so my dearest heroic awak, ever the lifesaver, took off his sandals right there along the boardwalk and jumped into the water to rescue Bird Bird


that little speck of black is Bird Bird struggling in the water.


awak to the rescue!


so brave, right? the water's filled with sea urchins y'know...


getting rid of the salt water on Bird Bird


then drying Bird Bird


hey the tissue didn't work...

So only after we made sure Bird Bird was safe and dry, we went to Hornbill Beach. The ferry driver left us all by ourselves at the jetty and said, "I'll be back in 2 hours."

The sun was out and the waters were clear. Awak had bought 3 packs of stale Gardenia bread to feed the fish. As soon as one piece hit the water, it was a free game feeding frenzy! Once, awak even saw a bigger fish eat up a smaller fish who was distracted in trying to get a bite of the bread.

As i held the bread in my fingers, fishes would swim up and take a bite. i guess they could not tell bread from hand; they kept biting me instead. and my toes weren't spared either. i kept swallowing salt water and i'd go "ouch!" "oww!" underwater.


fed fish from my feet

we made our way back to our room to wash up after the boatman fetched us back. it was only about 1.30pm and we thought we had plenty of time for lunch. RIGHT. the moment we finished our prayers, it started raining. and it poured. and it rained. it rained cats and dogs and bears and lions. so in the end we couldn't go out for lunch.

so awak and i stayed in, curled up on the sofa watching the lightning streak across the skies and the rain coming from all directions (yeah, even upwards from the water). cocooned in that uber-comfy state, i dozed off.

my stomach growled me out of sleep. having missed lunch, we were terribly hungry. so imagine the shock at looking at the clock to see that it was nearly midnight! wah lau we slept till so late! and there was no food...save for two packs of Mamee Cup Noodles we sneaked in from the mainland. so we had to make do with that and a packed of haw flakes.

Day 3 - 29 May 2006

I could kill awak. he tickled me out of bed today to make sure we got up before the sun did.


the boardwalk outside our room





We packed up and left Gayana Island Ecoresort feeling good about what lies ahead.


bubbyes Gayana!



We took the ferry back to Kota Kinabalu town and checked in our hotel for the night, the Kinabalu Daya Hotel. We dropped by a cybercafé to download pics into awak's thumbdrive and after lunch, we explored the pasar for gifts. The pasar was hot and stuffy but it sold a billion and ten items from knick-knacks to household items to sun-dried fish.

That night, we walked along Jln Haji Saman for dinner and we came across this huge field of food stalls! there must have been at least 100 different stalls selling local fare...*yum*...there was even this makcik selling sea grapes! awak got a whole BBQed fish for himself and i got my BBQ chicken wings. with steaming fried rice to go with that and hot teh tarik to wash it down with, we returned to our room for dinner.


awak eating sea grapes. (anggur laut, the makcik called it.)

Day 4 - 30 May 2006
After breakfast we headed to the airport to catch our MAS shuttle to Kuching. The plane transited at Bintulu and an hour later, we arrived in Kuching. At the airport, we caught a taxi to Holiday Inn Damai Lagoon Resort. Awak had chosen this place and according to him, it was so secluded that the resort was self-sufficient and had their own in-house activities.

The 50 mins taxi ride was the most bumpiest and rough ride i've ever been on. seeing everyone pass by in their 4WDs and large stable MPV suddenly made a lot of sense on the Kuching-Damai terrain. the only soothing part of the ride was having awak holding the barf bag to my mouth and rubbing my back. oh yes...that and of course the breathtaking views of Putri Santubong and Putri Sejinjang helped with the motion-sickness too.





I LOVE OUR ROOM! we had a chalet that faced the vast beauty of the South China sea to the right and the heights of Mount Santubong to the left.











Awak and i spent the afternoon exploring the grounds and making a stop at the cyber station. It started drizzling after maghrib, so we ordered room service and stayed in for the night.

Day 5 - 31 May 2006

After breakfast awak and i rented bicycles to explore the neighbouring resorts and Damai village.

Remember the uber-rough taxi ride getting into the resort? Well, if a four-wheeled vehicle was akin to a roller coaster ride, imagine how it was like on a flimsy 8-speed piece of metal disguised as a mountain bike. *groan*

The trailed we covered along the foot of Mt Santubong was roughly (and i do mean that literally) 3 kilometres.







Exhausted, we returned to the resort for a quick shower and lunch before heading to the beach.

Awak's bright idea: to rotate 15 mins each at the jacuzzi-steambath-sauna stations routine. TWICE! the jacuzzi was good for soothing my tired body from the rough ride back and the sauna was relaxing for my sweaty body. but for some reason, i could not take the steam bath. the head went straight to my head, u felt woozy and dizzy all at the same time and at one point, awak had to help me out of the pool. i then insisted that we go to the beach like normal people and swam till sunset.


Day 6 - 1 June 2006

After breakfast awak and i took the shuttle to Kuching town and we were dropped off at Holiday Inn Kuching. After depositing our luggage, we set off to explore Kuching town.

We walked along Sungai Kuching and bought a gazillion things along the way. Tired and ready to be declared bankrupts, we headed to the airport, wondering what Kuala Lumpur will bring.

Hotel Malaya's main door opens right smack into Petaling Street! When we arrived that night, we had dinner at the nearby "kedai mamak" as they called it there.
Awak has his mee goreng pedas while i wanted some murtabak. when it came, i was pleasantly surprised!



the crust was tissue-paper thin! it was soooooo yummy and i've never come across murtabak with crust this thin and delicious. but check out the onions...



Day 7 - 2 June 2006

We didn't have much time today, coz awak had Friday prayers, so we headed out after breakfast to see KL early in the morning.





I met awak at the LRT station after zuhr and we headed down to KLCC to catch X-Men.

I've always wanted to eat at Nando's. The peri-peri chicken is reputed to be excellent so we had lunch there. Mistakenly ordered the platter.


the ever-ready fireman preparing for the fire...


as the waitress put it, "wow...boleh kenduri!"


the aftermath...

I only noticed that it was for 3-4 persons after the meal. the hot is HOT man! my eyes and nose watered, and if my ears produced liquid, they would have watered too.

That night we went into Shah Alam to meet mak usu, pak usu, mak lang, mak itam and the kids. Hee hee...lost our way but found a good makan place that served our food within 10 mins! not bad for a seafood restaurant. Awak tucked into the fish with vigour...poor baby...tak best eat seafood alone, so awak has had to abstain from seafood when we eat. i keep telling him, "eat lah whatever ever u want. very easy. chicken for me."

Day 8 - 3 June 2006

Awak and i started packing after breakfast and we checked out, heading towards the Ancasa Hotel where we were going to catch our coach back to Singapore. I saw an A&W across Pudu and immediately determined that we were going to have our last meal in KL at A&W.










And so our Sabah & Sarawak adventure ends. That's it. : )

For the full photographic account, please click on the Multiplying Omnichups link and view the four albums.

Because We Are More Than Just A Fan Club

BECAUSE WE ARE MORE THAN JUST A FANCLUB

The earthquake that struck Jogyakarta has left thousands homeless and in need of basic food, shelter and healhcare supplies.

Because we are more than just a fan club that supports Peterpan and their musical journey, AlamPeterpan seeks your kind generosity in extending relief to those in need.

The best kind of contribution would be in monetary terms, but these items are very much welcomed.

List of Needed Goods:
1. Medication and Health Supplies
2. Tinned Milk/ Baby's Milk Formula
3. Generator Set
4. Clothes
5. Drinking Water
6. Sanitary Napkins
7. Blankets
8. Sleeping Bags

Please contact Nurul at berriesngum@hotmail.com or Khai at omnichups@yahoo.com to coordinate your contributions.

Collection of donations will be done by the AlamPeterpan committee members in Singapore.

Donations will be in the care of Andika Naliputra, peterpan's keyboardist. Peterpan will be transporting the contributions back to Indonesia themselves after their 17th June showcase in Singapore.

And Back Again

HELLO MY BELOVED PEEPS!

i'm back...yes! it feels good and strange in a weird way to be back... : ) pics and updates will be up soon...

but first i wanna thank EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ON OF YOU for dropping by my page and keeping in alive and defending me and oh...*sob*...this is all so touching.... *lol*

be back in a jiffy!

Far Far Away

we'll be right back after we ...

Pasang Paip

everybody thought that somebody will take pictures.

in the end, nobody did.

so if you have pics from saturday, post 'em up, will ya? my photog is still hard at work.

Sloganize Your Name

this is blardy funny

i churned out these names...and see wat i got?

i tried a coupla other names. with hilarious results.

"Chups - It Looks Good On You"

"How Many Licks Does It Take To Get To The Centre Of An Uki?"

"Once You Pop, You Can't Stop Kautsar"

"Nazril With The Less Fattening Centres"

"Let's Face The Music and Boril"

"Your Bagong, Right Away"

"Four Out Of Five Dentists Recommend Andika"

"Loekman Comes To Those Who Wait"

"Strong Enough For A Man, Made For An Indra"

"Reza Tested, Mother Approved"

"You Can't Top An Alampeterpan"

go to http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi now to sloganize your name...then please share with me the yields...*lolrotf*

yeah yeah my washing machine is still on strike.

Alarm Bells A-Ringin'

my washing machine broke down iwanttodie.

The Sisterhood Of The Magnetic Chains

mood: feelin' chainy
music: the hardest thing - 98 degrees. ("and you will never know. cause there can be no happy ending")

thank you, my dearest sohabahs. for being there thru the thick and thin. thru the sun and the rain. thru the smiles and the tears. thru the jokes and the fears.

*getting sappy alert!* i'll share this with the rest of you...i'm sure you have come across this before in forwarded emails.

"A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.

"Don't forget your girlfriends," she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass.

"They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you'll have, you are still going to need girlfriends. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them. And remember that girlfriends are not you’re your friends, but your sisters, our daughters, and other relatives too. You'll need other women. Women always do."

'What a funny piece of advice,' the young woman thought. 'Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake, a grown-up, not a young girl who needs girlfriends! Surely my husband and the family we'll start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!'

But she listened to her Mother.

She kept contact with her girlfriends and made more each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, girlfriends are the mainstays of her life.

After 50 years of living in this world, here is what she learned:

Times passes. Life happens. Distance separates. Children grow up. Love waxes and wanes. Hearts break. Careers end. Jobs come and go. Parents die. Colleagues forget favors. Men don't call when they say they will.

BUT…girlfriends are there. No matter how much time and how many miles are between you.

A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach. When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it for yourself, your girlfriends will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you. Or come in and carry you out.

The world wouldn't be the same without them, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called life, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still."

anyway...here are highlights of the The Inagural Meeting Of The Sisterhood Of The Magnetic Chains.


nak posing ker nak main pool?


*burp*


ben & jerry's fossil fuel


chilliz's snipe!


hey...didya know i berak berak that night? *gross!*


chilliz: "ouw...make her stop!"


The Sohabah's Sumpah

for more pics, check out my Multiplying OmniChups link.

and oh yes...chilliz dear, there is a word "snipe" in www.dictionary.com. you get to keep the points. : )

snipe:
a. Any of various lon-billed shore birds of the genus Gallinago or Capella, related to the woodcocks and sandpipers, especially the common widely distributed species G.gallinago or C.gallinago.
b. Any of various similar or related birds.

The Inagural Meeting Of The Sisterhood Of The Magnetic Chains was brought to you by the letter M, the movie The Maid and the word "ouch!"

Can I Hate You

mood: i-hate people mood
music: the one from malcolm in the middle..."YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME NOW!"

help...i'm surrounded by stupid people.

YOU! the one who talks so damn much but nothing gets done. basket...stop talking and work already. you think dreams put food on the table? you think cracking jokes and pulling funny faces will help meet our deadlines? balls to you. either get your act together or shut up.

and YOU! keep complaining about other people's work. oh for fish's sake SHUT UP ALREADY! somebody stole your ideas? somebody took credit for your work? somebody cut you in the line? well...BOO-FREAKING-HOO! wake up...and smell the bullcrap. this is life. face it.

and don't even get me started on YOU! who the hucking fell do you think you are? who died and made you the BLOG POLICE? read my blog if you want to. judge me if you care...but don't you dare come to your own conclusions and assume that they are mine as well.gawd...the nerve of some people.

you are three of the saddest sorriest and stupidest people i've ever met!




there...you've made me cry. happy?

Ungentlewomanly Behaviour

now c'mon admit it...which one of you bozos did this?

"you are slut. foto with arie! you No.1 whore!"

Free To Decide

mood: clarity is my middle name
music: free to decide - the cranberries ("i'm free to decide and i'm not so suicidal after all")

why is it that some people never learn to be themselves? why some people hide behind others?

i met bubbles (pseudonym, people...pseudonym!) recently. was quite suprised with this side of her that i've never seen before...in all this time of knowing her. and it was really really pleasant to see the real her...beneath all the layers of insecurities.

it was really hard for us to be friends for a while...coz her constant references to her best friend was driving me insane. i mean...the woman could not pick out what to eat or what to wear without consulting someone else! yeah lah i used to do that to sister all the time when she was still around but that was just to piss her off....gosh...i could never understand why she felt that she had to have another person's opinion to do something. darling...that grey mass between your ears...it's working, no?

see peeps...the problem with her is that she is always hiding behind the shadow of someone else...most often it's one of her friends, or boyfriend, or colleague...i dun care lah who! point is she never comes up to the top. she remains hidden under everything else. i'd like to see her step out of that more and let people know her as bubbles...and not somebody's friend, somebody's girlfriend or somebody's colleague.
everyone is beautiful, bubbles. everyone is talented, everyone is unique, everyone is special. if you let people see you like that more often you'll find that there's a lot in you for people to love.

He created you in perfection; you are enough as the person you are, dear.

the next time you have a doubt...whether should you trust someone, or is green your colour or should you have that for lunch or does your butt look big ...ask yourself, just before you ask your friend...ask yourself.

Ada Apa Dengan Peterpan?

mood: post gastronomical exercise languidity
music: superman - five for fighting (didn't remember the lyrics then, sure as hell don't remember them now...*lol*)

ok ok...i've been asked this question one too many times. so i guess now it's time i speak up.

there were only so many times that i was this insane about a band or an artiste. it started with luke perry of beverly hills 90210 (remember the hair? *swoon*). then it was take that for the loooo oooooooooooooongest time (mark owen was beyond cute ok!). more recently was singapore's very own abang opik batisah...but that one i was kindda grey for me...my adoration for him was born out of my disgust at having a certain cher yer nun alip win the SI competition.

so why peterpan? why now?

it started with a group of orphans singing "dan mungkin bila nanti kita kan bertemu lagi" to some facilitators who were saying a very difficult goodbye. just imagine that? two people from totally different backgrounds thrown together by fate and by fate, they will part. almost as poignant as "i'll see you when you get there...if you ever get there...will you ever get there..." kindda emotion. a rhetorical question that will kill you to answer.

it started with mungkin nanti. then there was mimpi yang sempurna back when my special angle still loved me ("aku dan semua yang terluka kerana kita"). ayah aceh tercinta ("lihatlah hari berganti namun tiada seindah dulu") made me ache to be the person i was when i was there. di atas normal jumped me from behind ("ku mencari hati yang ku benci") when he came into my life, shook me to my very core and threatened to break every single one of my principles. tak bisakah ("hatiku bimbang namun tetap pikirkanmu") made me miss peterpan so much when it signalled the end of their merdaka stadium concert. then...no need to say lah hor...kukatakan dengan indah ("kau buat ku terjatuh dan terjatuh lagi") described the entire alampeterpan experience. being in bandung was all about menunggumu ("bila rindu ini masih milikmu"). and now, even though awak and i are counting down the mere days left, it's still khayalan tingkat tinggi ("yang ku nanti saat memegang tangannya")

it's not like i went looking for the songs to fill the soundtrack of my life. the songs found me.

yang terdalam ("takkan lelah aku menanti takkan hilang cintaku ini") , taman langit ("ini taman langitku. tak perlu kau bayangkan") and tertinggalkan waktu ("kau sadari semua yang berjalan telah tinggalkan mu") were included not for any specific reason other than the fact that it was love at first hearing. the very first time i heard these three songs, i knew i was in love. i didn't care that these tunes were not commercially arranged...i loved them for that. tertinggalkan waktu holds the record for being my all-time favourite peterpan tune.

therefore peeps...it's really very simple. i get peterpan. peterpan gets me. and the ones who ask me, "why peterpan?" don't get it.

lost in translation
"dan mungkin bila nanti kita kan bertemu lagi" - "when will we ever meet again"
"aku dan semua yang terluka kerana kita" - "me and all who were hurt by us"
"lihatlah hari berganti namun tiada seindah dulu" - "the days go by but it will never be as beautiful as before"
"hatiku bimbang namun tetap pikirkanmu" - "my heart worries but still i think of you"
"kau buat ku terjatuh dan terjatuh lagi" - "you make me fall and fall all over again"
"bila rindu ini masih milikmu" - "when you are still the one i miss"
"yang ku nanti saat memegang tangannya" - "i wanna hold your hand" (ala the beatles like that)
"takkan lelah aku menanti takkan hilang cintaku ini" - "i won't be weary of waiting. the love that i have won't fade"
"ini taman langitku. tak perlu kau bayangkan" - "this is my sky garden. there's no need for you to imagine"
"kau sadari semua yang berjalan telah tinggalkan mu" - "you realized all that's passed has left you behind"

crap i'm totally butchering peterpan's works....sorry boril! : )

basecamp pics

a lovers' tiff...


...but then we made up...aww~~


chilling to the same groove


chatting and voting at the same time


alampeterpan babes with andika and ariel

Back!

as cliched as it may sound....a picture is truly worth a thousand words...

Away

- in bandung, indonesia from 1st April 2006 - 4th April 2006 -

for wat...you guess lah huh?

*grinz*...see y'all soon! pray for my safe journey...

Temporal Bliss

at last...



*bliss...*

Lies! All LIES!

lies hurt.

Not An Executive, Not Yet A Manager

mood: sad and disappointed.
music: maaf - jikustik ("kau harus tahu dalam hati ku bergetar" / "you must know my heart quivers inside")

so! how does it feel to not fit in?

i've never had a problem with fitting in. in school i was at ease with the geeks club discussing books. i was on food-sharing basis with the jocks in the soccer team. i was also able to sit down and let rip a big one when chilling with the slackers. sitting in a majlis of ilmu learning from teachers at the mosque, no problem.

i was also contented to be by myself. buried in a good book for hours. or doing the chores with the player on top volume in my ear and yoddling along to the songs. or doing the running laps around my neighbourhood. i was ok.

i fit in. either in a group or by myself.

but lately...i think i've lots my place. i don't know where i belong. neither here nor there. not welcomed here. embraced there with conditions.

please...just tell me to leave. ask me to respectfully butt out. i will.

but do not treat me like i am invincible. do not assume i know i'm not wanted. do not share your private jokes in my face and expect me to laugh along. do not tell me a cock-and-bull story and expect me to believe in you.

and therefore....do not expect me to share with you. do not expect me to save your ass when it matters. do not count on me to speak up for you. do not be certain that i will stand up for you. do not bank on me to defend you.

at least my ptf is around. my ptf makes time go by so fast that i forget i'm crying. or i'm upset. my ptf hides things from me coz my ptf would rather we concentrate on me and discuss me. and my ptf will know how to read me. it's amazing how my ptf can do all these things, given that we just solidified our friendship recently...but my ptf can do that.

and for that, i am deeply grateful to my ptf. thank you. so much. for getting me though this tough time. and i'll remember what you said about knowing who your friends are. and how to tell the fair-weathered once from the real gems.

thanks ptf...you're a gem.

Somthing I Stole From Toots's Blog

mood: half-blind
music: jikustic - maaf

i stole this from toots' blog. don't care. : )

what was i doing ten years ago?
this time ten years ago...i had just entered ccks. brand new world, with no cares in life. was still with ah boy...my first relationship with a superdooper cute chinese boy. so blissful...life was so much easier back then.

five song which i know all the lyrics off the top of my head now
mungkin nanti - peterpan
she will be loved - maroon five

five things i would do if i am a millionaire
open a free english school in aceh
start a trust fund for orphans
set up a "get-me-married" cooperative
secure a never-ending supply of farmpride chicken nuggets
buy a black-green mini ("living in a material world...and i am a material girl...")

five bad habits
bite the inside of my lips all the time
sneeze and blow my nose very loudly
talk to fast and loud
drive too fast (fast is subjective though)
never bother to wash my car

five things i like doing
sleep
sing
dream (hey they are the building blocks of success!)
read
drive

five things i will never do again
eat at the bkt gombak shop (food cmi, service cmi)
trust the people who have failed me before
break my spectacles
try to fix my PC
marry (heheheheh)

Time's Up

when was the last time you thought about death?

i'm not ready to die...but i seem to live like i won't.

And Your Time Starts Now...

mood: sleepyyyyyyyy
music: peterpan.....(didn't you see that coming?*lol*)

hi...

yes i know...it's been a while. i just felt that i had nothing to blog about...and i didn't want to subject you to the oh so mundane things that happened in my life.

*sigh*.....so much to do so little time...by now you should know what i'm busy with. things at work are finally falling in place; my programmes should be running smoothly come first week of march. adventure accounts are also due to follow-up...and no thanks to the eunach...i'm proud to say i did it all by meself. *hrrmph*

had a total blast with the gang on movies night...from the getting ready to the being there and the supper after. i love the gang...



Fantastic Six...we are missing one terribly...



from left: bananaz, chups, viva and coffeebean. yeah we took hours to get ready. but we're girls. so shuddup already. : )



from left: shawn, chups, viva and weeping...very nice pic...i dunno why lah? can anyone pin point it?

things on the home front aren't looking so rosy either...yes...mother has finally totally warmed up the the fact that it's happening, with or without her, so either she jumps on the bandwagon or fall off...alamak...i tell you she's jumped on it with full vigor she's driving me absolutely i n s a n e.

i mean...now she's the one rushing. this and that. here and there. and i for one do not like people rushing me...she rush i rush...dammnit...we could have done that ages ago but no...who chose to sulk and mope? and now who...?*sigh*...never mind.

all these pressure and stress...i'm beng stretched very thin. i seriously do not need additional crap from bozos...so i do apologize if i have offended you in anyway...i'm sorry..TRULY! now see you what a horrible person i really am...

but it's ok...i'll behave in the manner that is expected of me and i will hold it together. until that day when it will all fall apart...

insya Allah by then awak will piece me together again...

No!....Really?

mood: stupified
music: jauh mimpiku - peterpan ("ku harus lepaskan mu / i have to let you go")

it feels so good to let go.

sometimes you have to look at your life and really think about that matters to you most. what are the big things? what are the little ones?

for me, since it happened, i started looking at things in a new angle. sure...the insanities are there, the worldly urgency is always pushing me...but now, at the back of my mind i know.

i know that you can treat me however fashion you want. go ahead. just say what you wanna say to me, be it to mock me, ridicule me or even to humour me. treat me as you wish too, pretend i'm important, pretend you really wanna know what i think, pretend my opinion matters.

i've got good news for you. i am not judged by you. there is A HIGHER BEING who Judges All. and i will only answer to Him.

i hope, for your sake, when He Asks, you can answer.

enjoy...stupidest quote of the month:

"we grow older by the year." - e****h

really?...no shit.

more pics of peterpan

i know...i know...i have to stop this insanity soon....

but in the meantime....ENJOY!


loekman - di atas normal


indra - di atas normal


ariel has a white guitar


nope...it's actually black.

look at that smile...who wouldn't melt?


damn his coat looks good.

Fool

mood: that startling clarity and peace that you feel just seconds before you jump off a cliff
music: peterpan's been on my replay mode for the past two weeks...whaddaya expect?

yes...i know. i have been uber lazy in updating this blog. but it's just because i like going to my blog and seeing the boys smile. call me delusion. so what else is new?

anyway....things have pretty much settled from the insane december i had. with the aceh trip, the peterpan concert, the sin ming interviews and all the crazy times with awak settling home issues...i needed some time to recoup and take stock of year 2006.

i wish for time. so true that He said we are all in loss "except such as have Faith and do righteous deeds and (join together) in the mutual Teaching of Truth, and of Patience and Constancy."

i wasted so much time in 2005. hindsight is 20-20 after all. i never noticed the stupidity of my actions until now. so many other things i could have done, would have achieved...all gone down the drain thanks to my own shortcomings.

well...beverly knight sang "shoulda woulda coulda were the last words of a fool"....so this year i plan to not be a fool. this gives you (yes you...the one reading this right now) the permission to call me a fool should you see me doing something err...fool-ish.

dear God, perhaps all this time i have been praying for the wrong things. this time, i won't pray for a lighter load. i pray for a stronger back.

PETERPAN 1 JAN 2006 STADIUM MERDEKA KUALA LUMPUR

mood: surreal
music: my own blend of peterpan

i cannot believe it. i went to KL and was within 5 metres of peterpan!


from left: reza, andika, loekman, uki, ariel, indra

nothing i can say will adequately describe the feeling i brought home with me. my first time in a concert in malaysia...what an experience!

it was worth it. the seven hour train ride. the roundabout route we took to find royale bintang. the waiting in the rain for like 2 hours. the shouting and singing-along. the walk back and who could forget the very eventful morning after.

*blank*.

yes i am actually stupified. speechless. tergamam aku dibuatnya.



before he took off his jacket


after he took off his jacket


still jacket-less


reza (left background), loekman (front) and andika (right background)

andika, why won't you come up front???

i love peterpan. their concert was amazing. they are amazing. the atmosphere was amazing. the crowd was amazing. the weather was not so amazing, but well worth it. they say hujan bawak rahmat, and for that i thank Him for giving me the experience.

*aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
ggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

ahh~~ now we've gotten that out of the way, i can tell you more about the concert. but the highlight of the concert was not the concert itself. it was more of what happened the morning after.

i can't really put it in writing just suffice to say that if you ever get the opportunity to attend their concert, please do. yeah yeah i know a concert is a concert is a concert, but it's the artist that makes it special for you and for me it was peterpan.

the next morning after subh nyonyah and i went out in the search of shops to get our stuff. in the hopes of at least getting a dry pair of pants for the trip home...yeah right. alas all the shops were closed still, it was after all just past seven.

so we walked and walked a little around petaling street and nyonyah spied "hotel instana" looming in the skyline.

nyonyah: "eh, isn't that where they are staying?"me: "yeah...haha..."

not quite sure whose bright idea it was to ambush peterpan at their concert. i mean, seriously what were we thinking?

so we went to hotel istana. and already spotted the peterpan car and the peterpan van. hoping to meet them when they came down to breakfast, we realized with stupidity that neither one of us has a pen or paper or marker or anything for the boys to sign on! so i made the mad dash to the 7-11 across the street to buy two markers...ya Allah...sanggup seh!

a kind soul noticed us hanging around.

kind soul: "waiting for peterpan?"
me (trying to sound nonchalant): "oh yeah...if we're lucky. but we can't stay long."
kind soul: "why don't you go up to the 14th floor? they're all housed there."

i was like wtf...are you freaking serious? with my heart beating so fast but walking back to where nyonyah was sitting and i told her. we thought we'd just give it a shot to go up to the 14th floor and if we got stopped by their security, oh well what else is new, right?

so we went up. and the floor was deserted. no mean-looking bouncers were lurking in the corridors, wanting to toss me out the building for trespassing onto the 14th floor. so we walked around and were trying to figure out which rooms the boys were in. i mean, all six of them can't be in the same room, right? walked some more and i decided to walk into the storeroom where the housekeeping staff kept their equipment. already so jittery from excitement and anticipation, i was shocked out of my socks when a voice boomed "WHO ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?"

it was one of the chambermaster. sitting on the floor, resting behind his cart. i squatted next to him and asked, "abang, peterpan bilik maner?" (brother, which rooms are peterpan in?)

guess what he did? he pulled out a printout from his pocket. it was the boys' room list!!!!

it's just getting better and better...so armed with the list, we went a-knocking on their doors.

yes...i can HEAR you groaning and cursing me. yes it was terribly rude of me to knock on peterpan's door at 8.30am the night after their concert. and i'm sorry but what would you have done!?

truth be told, i could only tell ariel, andika and loekman apart. i'm not sure who the rest of the boys are, so the first door was open by a rather sleepie eyed head scratching peterpan.

i HAD to ask, "nie bilik peterpan eh?" (is this peterpan's room?) and he grunted in reply.

but he was game and gave us a nice autograph...we thanked him for his willingness and apologized for disturbing his sleep.

as the door closed, i turned to nyonyah and we gave each other a muted scream. you know the one girls give when they're flustered and excited about seeing a famous cute star in his boxers? yeah that one!

i quickly turned around and "eh siapa seh yang tu?" (which one was that one?) yes...we had no idea who that was. can you imagine????

it was uki.

imagine this face sleepie eyed....so cute right?

the next room was andika's. even cuter in real life and i got real close to him coz he was sooooo far away on stage behind the keyboard.

this one is the cute one!

the same routine and i asked him "so kapan kalian ker singapur?" (when are you guys coming to singapore?)

and he said "april, mungkin." (april, maybe).

my darling, that's good enough for me!

so me and nyonyah went round knocking on the others' doors. alas indra and loekman were still sleeping, it was their wives who answered the door. i even got a glimpse of loekman's lil girl! so sweet! we congratulated them on a fantastic concert and left them to their sleep.

we did try ariel's room, but no one answered. and reza...well, bro, sorry to have disturbed you wifey. please say a big sorry to the missus for waking you peeps up.

so nyonyah and i took a slow stroll out of the hotel and so nonchalantly got into a cab at 9.15am (hello are we forgettign that our bus leaves at 9.30 at pudu???) and in the cab gave the most girliest squeal we would ever give and shocked the taxi driver.

a 2 minutes ride back to royale bintang and a mad dash to our rooms to pack our barang barang and in 3 minutes we were back dowstairs in a cab waiting to take us to pudu. 2 minutes later (thank God there wasn't a jam) we were on the eltabina bus en route home.

so that's my peterpan experience. insane? yes. memorable? definitely. out of this world.

i'm still star-strucked. how about you?

On The Run

hey peeps...

my schedule in december:

10th - 13th : segamat - cherating (malaysia)
20th - 27th : banda aceh - samalanga - lokhsamauwe (indonesia)

yes i've been away...as you can see...and i'm so sorry i forgot to update stuff here. i will be back with a vengence, but not before

peterpan live 1st jan stadium merdeka!

yes...i'm going to see peterpan live in concert!!!!!!!!!

have lots to share, peeps, so please stay tuned...

*sings* tak bisakah kau menungguku....

hatiku bimbang namun tetap pikirkanmu
selalu
selalu dalam hatiku
ku melangkah sejauh apapun itu
selalu
engkau di dalam hatiku

ku berjalan berjalan memutar waktu
berharap temukan sisa hatimu
mengertilah ku ingin engkau begitu
mengerti kau di dalam hatiku

tak bisakah kau menungguku
hingga nanti tetap menunggu
tak bisakah kau menuntunku
menemani jalan hidupku

dara kau menjadi hidupku
kemana kau tahu isi hatiku
tunggu sejenak aku di situ
jalanku jalan menemukanmu

my heart worries but still i think of you
always
you're always in my heart
even when we're miles apart
always you're in my heart

i walk around spinning time
hoping for remnants of your love
understand that i want you
understand you're in my heart

can't you wait for me
and keep on waiting for me
can't you watch me
and accompany me on my life journey

girl you are my life
you know what's in my heart
just wait a while for me there
my path to meet you

Pull Pull Here and Pull Pull There

extremely emotional entry alert.

you are highly advised to NOT make non constructive comments. and beside...i don't care what you think anyway, so piss off.

i'm tired. i dun wan't to think anymore.

yes...planning a wedding is blardy hard. i know that now. to quote coffeebean, "there will always be a time when you have a disagreement or a misunderstanding...no 2 person has the same head/brain"

but! when i want A and awak wants E...if we want to resolve it, we have to agree to meet at C. and what is C, children? C-O-M-P-R-O-M-I-S-E. c'mon...say it with me. COMPROMISE.

but ok since no one cares two cahoots about what i want, it's ok then.

i'll just whip out my magic wand and fulfill everybody's wishes, mother's, father's and awak's and maybe spare the leftovers for meself. if there is any.

so go ahead, my loved ones, tear me apart. if that is what it takes to find some freaking peace around here and for someone to make the blinking decisions, i guess my sanity is not very important after all.

i thank God for giving me this time in aceh to reflect on the bigger things in life. i thank Him for showing me my true purpose in life and why i am on His earth. i'll give you a clue: it's certainly not to choose wedding bands, juggle impossible timelines or plan for a one day wedding when the important thing is the marriage of a lifetime.

wayang drama peeps, sorry i am highly irritable and sensitive right now, especially with these matters of the heart and dick's ultra annoying back stabbing ways, so please forgive me.

darul peeps, yes...been really occupied with these stuff to put 100% into the aceh trip, but trust me the work will be done in time. we'll do good work in aceh.

and for you other peeps, if this entry offends you due to the gross language, sorry. i guess.

*sniff*...hucking fell.

where the heck is my time/date option!?

These Are The Dates

mood: yeah whatever
music: have a nice day - bon jovi ("when the world gets in my face i say have a nice day")

the past fourteen days have been a rollercoaster. just as i was recovering from post hari raya fatigue, things started rolling in.

baguana left and work stopped being funny. awak and i had a sudden flash of energy to search for our wedding bands, only to falter in our search. (why the heck do we need wedding bands anyway, we're malays, for fish's sake!).

work then progressed into torture and then planning my aceh trip began. culminated with my special angel's birthday...goodness...i feel like i've felt every possible emotion a human can emotionally have this past two weeks.

but...all's well ends well. bags sent us her lovely pictures and as estee lauder said, every woman looks radiant on her wedding day. sorry we could not be there, but best wishes to you and roger rabbit!

i'm feeling kindda stimulated at work nowadays coz of dick (not the real name, guys...duh~) hahaha...dick is really stimulating. dick is challenging and i consider dick my competitor. dick is good and very smart, enough to know what to do to get what. it's so fun and interesting for me to have a worthy adversary in the office. so we shall see...how i can find creative ways to outdo dick.

awak and my search for our wedding bands was thankfully resolved just last sunday, after two intensive days of thinking, calculating, selecting and of course bickering over the bands. it's times like this that i can see how different awak and i are, in our ideas and our notions. so of course there'll be disagreements along the way. i got so mad i barked at him (who knew i had canine tendencies?) and awak threw his usual moody and cold tantrum...*sigh*...aper lah susah sangat, kan? but in the end we resolved and had a real good time making up...*flutters eyelids shyly*...kan, awak, kan??? *muehahehaheahehehee*

oh yes...talking about that...finally i have some concrete dates of my wedding. mother has eventually thawed and finally (albeit reluctantly) agreed for the nikah to be on 18th May 2006 and the walimah on the 3th September 2006 (insya Allah) ....so peeps, expect to be activated for these dates... : )

darn...the finalizing of the dates also mean i have to sit down and start planning. grr...

11 People On A Rope

11 People On A Rope

eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. the rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided, that one had to leave, because otherwise, they were all going to fall. they weren't able to name that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech.

she said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little returns.

as soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands.

Lie and Don't Get Caught

so disappointing.

why did you lie? why did you think that you had to lie? why the need to deceive?

i just don't get it. if you didn't want to join us, say so. if you wanted to go out with other people, well go ahead. nobody's the slave of no one.

it's stupid, lie about something as trivial as jalan raya.

did you seriously think i wouldn't find out?

next time look at me when you're lying to my face ok?

Open Letter

mood: vindicatedmusic: polaris - jimmyeatworld ("i'll say it straight and plain. i know i've made mistakes i've always been afraid.")

but i am not afraid anymore. this is my open letter to you. it warrants no reply; i do not need justifications.

dear ,

my parents raised me good. it is WRONG to put someone else down just so you can feel better about yourself. if you are in a leadership position, use your responsibilities wisely. don't think that the world owes you something just because you are there; rather, you are supposed to give back to the people who entrusted you with the power.

i feel sorry for you. you are so insecured, you feel the need to put others down and embarrasse them so that you can feel good about yourself. i feel sorry that you live in a deluded world where your only concern is what you think is right, even if evidence proves otherwise. most bossess i know make it a habit to be consultative leaders, and see their function as a facililator to open doors for their staff. you somehow make it your mission to dictate and lord over your subordinates, as if you need reassurance that you are the boss.

you are stubborn and obstinated, arrogant enough to think that you can function without any body else's inputs. you are over-demanding, dominating and you turn people off with your high-and-mighty attitude. i will never understand how you got to be like this; it must be due to the fact that you've never had to apply for a job in your life, that you've been poached throughout your working career. (or so you claim.)

you told me once i lack direction and focus. yes, it is reflective of my director. but as of this instant, i dissolve any affiliations to you. to think i gave you the benefit of the doubt. i have lost all respect for you.

so good luck. i hope you can answer the questions that will be thrown to you in The End.

A Buncha Crap

i got this from http://love.ivillage.com/lnsproblems/lnscompatible/0,,bk0x-p,00.html

Birth Order Compatibility: Your Best -- and Worst -- Matches for Loveby Dr. Kevin Leman
Did you know that your birth order can affect your relationship? Find out which marriage combinations work best -- and how yours compares -- in this excerpt from
The Birth Order Connection now.

BEST BIRTH ORDER MARRIAGES
Only child and youngest; first-born and youngest; middle child and youngest: Gender plays a role here as well. If you want the absolute best match, it's female only or first-born marrying a male youngest child who has older sisters. The last born with older sisters is going to be the sort of person who brings out the maternal instinct in women, and the oldest sister is likely to have great maternal urges. The young man has grown up with girls who have doted on him, cared for him, and generally treated him like one of their cuddly toys. This is the same sort of treatment he seeks in a wife, and the best place he'll find it is with an oldest sister. The match works both ways. The first-born needs someone to show her pleasures of sunsets, rainbows, and to remind her that it can be fun to let her mind wander and do something crazy or different. The last-born needs someone to show him that while having fun is a wonderful thing, it takes hard work and perseverance to turn those daydreams into reality.

First Born Married To A First Born: Likely high friction. Either butting heads from day one, or falling into a controller-pleaser relationship. Think John McEnroe and Tatum O'Neal, and you'll have some idea of how difficult it can be to make such a pairing work.

First Born Married To A Middle Child: The danger here is that the middle-born may modify his or her own behavior to please the first-born mate. While the middle makes a good general match for anyone (except, perhaps, for another middle), she may find the first born to be somewhat intimidating and thus need drawing out. If you marry a hard-driving first-born, you may be inclined to give up your own desires and dreams to please your more dominant, first-born spouse. However, if you have last-born tendencies, this can be a very good match for you.

First Born Married To The Last Born: Excellent combination: First-born can teach last-born how to be better organized, and that there are times when life must be taken seriously. The last-born teaches the first-born that it's okay to have fun once in a while.
What are the worst combinations?

Middle Child Married To A Middle Child: Has the potential to go either way. If one of the middle-borns has first-born tendencies and one has last-born tendencies and traits, this can be a good match. On the other hand, if both partners are solid, secretive middle-born communication is likely to suffer -- though you'll do well compromising to get along and keep the peace. Has the least chance of experiencing marital infidelity.

Middle Child Married to Last Born: Works best if the middle born has some first-born tendencies. If the middle is a true middle, he may find himself pulled into the last-born's more irresponsible lifestyle, creating the problems seen in a last-born to last-born marriage. If she has last-born tendencies, there could be trouble. If she has first-born traits, then a great match.

Last Born Married To A Last Born: Be careful here. You may have fun, but you'll also feel like life is getting a little out of control, with nobody in charge. Even last-borns can handle controlled chaos for only so long. WORST FAMILY BLENDOnly-child female and an only-child male: Not only will the two butt heads, but neither will have much of a clue about the other gender.

Female last-born with no brothers and male last-born with no sisters: Not only are you compounding the problems of two last-borns, but neither really knows very much about the opposite sex -- at least in a psychological sense -- and so wouldn't be particularly understanding and supportive of each other.

*From The Birth Order Connection (Revell, September 2001)

what a buncha crap...who wants to join me in proving this wrong?

Full Semi Circle

delicate - damien rice ("so why'd you fill my sorrows with the words you borrowed from the only place you've known")

*does a loooooooooooooooooong stretch*

Ramadan was a good break from this world. out of 10, i'd rate me a 7.5 for my efforts and bettering myself. : ) insya Allah there are lessons to be learnt and i'm sure i won't waste subsequent Ramadan.

this year's Ramadan was also special, it was the last one that i will go thru as a single. next year's insya Allah i will go thru it with awak. sahur with him, fast with him, break fast with him, go prayers with him and wake him up for qiyyam. hah! right...i can't even drag my own butt outta bed some nights...

189 days to my nikah insya Allah...and yes...i have to confirm...i have done nothing! muehahehaehahehaehehahe....yeah i'm waiting for a miracle, a magic wand to appear before me and i can just flick my wrist here and there and things will miraculously appear or confirm by themselves. why am i not feeling excited? or busy with the preparations? (or rather, the lack of it)...well, for a start, much has to do with the fact that my walimah date is not confirmed yet (tho awak started asking) and well...let's just say that mother is rather reluctant to let her favorite second daughter leave the nest, so she's taking her own sweet time on planning and confirming the dates and other stuff. and without mother's ok, my hands are pretty tied. so please...everyone...please be patient. i will most definitely start work pretty soon and will have updates then.

ok i lied. i did make one tiny bit of preparation. planning my honeymoon! YAY! awak has just given the go-ahead to splurge on a 10-day adventure.exploration.discovery getaway...........so where's this mystery location? stay tuned.

it's good to be blogging again. : )

Back and Recharged

mood: still lazy...
music: "you put the lime in the coke you nut..."

i'm back you peeps...gimme a while to settle this new skin...

Closed For Spiritual Maintenance

Is There Something Wrong With Me

mood: oh so lazy
music: these words - natasha bedingfield ("these words are my own from my heart flown i love you")

skipped to a friend's blog and in her links area, i'm listed as "Mrs-Awak-to-be". and all the other people on her links area are listed as such too, Mrs-Somebody or Mr-Someone. so the kaypoh in me clicked at random, just to peep into these people's world.

and every blog i read about was on love. these people's lives with the other halfs. it made me feel weird that i don't blog about awak everyday...and looking back thru my recent entries, i realized i've not blogged about awak in quite a while!

*panic button activated*

err...is there cause for alarm? truth be told...i've not seen awak for about three days now, and the last time was when he saw my back as i walked off from an arguement. yes yes...i know that was a sucky thing to do, walking away does not solve things, i know and if he did it, i would have flown into a rage and pulled him back by his ear! but i felt like i was losing control and it was far better to walk away than to say what was at the tip of my tongue. (it would have made foul-mouthed sailors blush)

so till today we're chilling. both our ego are about wounded from the beating and i hope this has taught us a lesson. that when two people are in love, they will hurt each other more. have respect for the people you love, peeps. respect them and trust that they know what they are doing, and respect them enough to always be honest. respect them as human beings who may make mistakes, and respect them as the people who will be putting you to bed at night when you fall asleep drooling in front of the teevee.

so in honour of awak, and to absolve my guilt, i'm reposting this to remind me what a fantastic baby i have, and thank God for him.

---------------------------------------------------------

mood: got such thing as praying mood?
music: fall to pieces - avril lavinge ("you're the only one i'd be with till the end when i come undone you will bring me back again")

i wanna blog about awak.

i think to awak, i am insane. sometimes downright crazy. i dun eat seafood, will order chicken most of the time, will only drink ice cold pokka green tea, hate shopping, even for things i need. i will remember things better than he does, so unfortunately that will make me remember when something is not done or when promises are not met. when i'm pmstic, i will turn into a crybaby and turn on the tap at the slightest thing.

of all my traits i can be demanding, unreasonable, selfish and downright sarcastic. and awak seems to bear the brunt of things. it's tiring for me to have to explain to him all of my emotions, but i guess it must be equally frustrating for him to get whammed by me left right centre upside down.

but...God is fair. just as i am blessed with a good memory, awak can forget things. he forgets when i've been unreasonably stubborn one day and still wakes me up the next morning with "hello dear!" sometimes he speaks to me in that baby voice that he uses only with me. he has this instinct where he will get me stuff that at first glance i think "oh my god what's this for" only to find that later i actually find it coming useful at times of need. his gift of being calm and collected when i'm falling apart.

i'm like a kite. and awak is my string. he lets me soar into the heights, but he will always keep me attached and grounded so i know my footing. he holds me tightly so i dun get lost in turbulant winds and violent storms. he decorates me, so i look good when i shine. he gives me freedom to be myself in my space, but always pulls me close when i charter into dangerous territory.

i know awak loves me. and the years we've been together are not proof of that - rather, they are a testament of the everyday things that he does to express the love, appreciation and respect he has for me. he loves me, faults and all.

so i thank Him. for granting me His Love, His Peace and His Tranquility thru awak.

NBC 23/09/2005 - 24/09/2005

happy early birthday, bananaz and asap! and thanks to the fantastic 6+1 for a FANTASTIC weekend.

Down By The Sea

mood: stagnant
music: my favourite mistake - sheryl crow ("did you know could you tell you were the only one")

just got back from tangkak/melaka yesterday and now it's back to work. i have got to stop taking these weekend getaways, man...sunday night is not a good day to come back from holiday...

but anyway...alhamdulillah...all's well and that's about it for weddings, as far as my family goes. the next to be married is moi...and she's not even in the mood to discuss that.

for the first time since the longest time the whole family was there. my family was complete. father, mother, sister, brother in law, nephew, brother, me and and awak. (ok well techincally he's not part of the family yet lah but he's getting there. and he is such an auntie-killer!)

my most vivid recollection of this picture perfect moment was on saturday night where we had dinner at this food place near pantai klebang. under the stars, by the sea and a couple of confused waiters, we had a perfect dinner. just us. the entire family complete.

bliss...when can we do this again?

I'm Hot Tempered. Who Loves Me?

mood: don't care-ish
music: out of my head - fastball ("how could i have ever been so blind")

the past two days have been insane. and all thanks to lifeguards.

i tell myself everyday...i must be strong and make the best of the situation that i am in. there is no point in trying to beat the system. some things are beyond our control, yes, i concede that.

but my dear friends, please accept that i cannot and never will be a "yes-man". that is my principle. i will fight. i will put all my cards on the table and i will push and bulldoze my way around if i know that i am on the right side. and i don't care what happens to me in the process, so long as the bigger picture is served. and i can do this because i know what is and what is not important to me. i know that at the end of the day we will all be held accountable for our actions and that makes me responsible.

and i'm sorry, baguana, for being too assertive. i pushed you too hard and i kick myself for that. i need to learn tact, right? yes...so that shall be my OJT for the next couple of weeks. you can claim $8 per hour from IFD. just need to write BRAC paper for IAA to approve. sure get one ok?
: )

You Bloody Racist!

mood: justified
music: let it be - the beatles ("and when the broken hearted people living in the world agree there will be an answer")

today two bloggers were charged for making racist comments online.

under the sedition act of 1948, two men were brought into the district court for making racist comments on malays and muslims. if convicted, they may face a jail term of three years and a $5000 fine.

justice is served.

was it?

whatever lah.

i came across a racist blog the other day, and had a serious discussion with xlrc. of course, he told me what i had always known, but hearing it being said to my face sort of woke me up.

we all have to live with some sort of prejudice and racism, even here in this cozy place we call home. the indians have to live with the fact that people think they are smelly. the malays have to live with the fact that people think they are lazy. the chinese have to live with the fact that people think they are greedy. so what?

yes...humans aren't perfect. actually He created us perfect; we're the ones who destroyed our lives and eroded our values. so anyway...we temporal beings must live with one another in harmony, if not we'll get ourselves extinct. so the point is, we have to learn to live with ourselves. and if you think this is a very politically correct answer, you're wrong.

this is the perfect answer. racial tolerance is such a silly concept. look at the word tolerance! who says i have to tolerate smoky piles of paper burning during the seventh month? who says i have to tolerate the incessant banging of gongs and drums and chanting when there's a funeral at the void deck? i don't tolerate it. i understand it and i accept it. so, my dearest xlrc, i am not being politically correct. i am being honest, coz god knows if i were to try to tolerate the differences that we have to face in singapore, sooner or later i will give up on this system.

yes it's hard. but that's the price to pay.

ps: xlrc, i have to admit it. when i was chatting to you about how generally people here act on their prejudice, you said that it's because the race perpetuates the prejudice. and i agreed with you. i thought that it was unfair for people to judge other based on stereotypes and preconceived notions, to which you replied "hey my girl, life isn't fair".

i felt mad. i wanted to scream at you "when has life ever been unfair to you?!"

just earlier this week i knew when.

and i feel rotten about even feeling the way i did. so i'm sorry.

that's what the apology is for.

Willing To Talk

ANNOUNCEMENT

i'm looking for malay / muslims homosexuals (male or female) under the age of 32 who will be willing to talk to me (or at least email) for a feature story in a local magazine for teenagers. only the real name and contact numbers of the individuals will be disclosed to the writer (which is me) or my editor. strictly no photographs will be used, and pseudonyms will be used in the article.

if you know of any such individuals, please do email me at whynotaai@yahoo.com

Down Time

THE FANTASTIC SIX plus ONE

clockwise from left: asap, coffeebean, chups, bananaz, baguana, viva and ranj

(just some of the peeps who make my life much more beareable at work)

photo courtesy of asap.

Boo Freaking Hoo

mood: grr
music: untitled - simple plan ("so i try to hold on to a time when nothing mattered")

i want to stand on top of a mountain and curse. a lot. and using as much vile and disgusting vulgarities as i can muster. and don't any of you peeps use the c-word or the f-word in front of me...please. i swear i will explode.

it'll be very easy to be upset and get angry. even if i feel violated and taken advantage of, i am powerless to change it.

let's face it. the whole bunch of us in the c-word based division is screwed. what re-org? as far as we can see, this is simply a transfer of division. the people who were hired for a specific function are now forced to perform another function, or better yet, sit down and play rookie to the other people who have been doing the function a lot longer. and there goes a wealth of experience and knowledge. i'm so darn tired. making excuses for people and convincing myself that it's going to be alright.

life is not fair. right. i get it. but who saw this coming?

it's not going to be alright. i'm so screwed.

seriously...wake me up when september ends.