mood: oh so lazy
music: these words - natasha bedingfield ("these words are my own from my heart flown i love you")
skipped to a friend's blog and in her links area, i'm listed as "Mrs-Awak-to-be". and all the other people on her links area are listed as such too, Mrs-Somebody or Mr-Someone. so the kaypoh in me clicked at random, just to peep into these people's world.
and every blog i read about was on love. these people's lives with the other halfs. it made me feel weird that i don't blog about awak everyday...and looking back thru my recent entries, i realized i've not blogged about awak in quite a while!
*panic button activated*
err...is there cause for alarm? truth be told...i've not seen awak for about three days now, and the last time was when he saw my back as i walked off from an arguement. yes yes...i know that was a sucky thing to do, walking away does not solve things, i know and if he did it, i would have flown into a rage and pulled him back by his ear! but i felt like i was losing control and it was far better to walk away than to say what was at the tip of my tongue. (it would have made foul-mouthed sailors blush)
so till today we're chilling. both our ego are about wounded from the beating and i hope this has taught us a lesson. that when two people are in love, they will hurt each other more. have respect for the people you love, peeps. respect them and trust that they know what they are doing, and respect them enough to always be honest. respect them as human beings who may make mistakes, and respect them as the people who will be putting you to bed at night when you fall asleep drooling in front of the teevee.
so in honour of awak, and to absolve my guilt, i'm reposting this to remind me what a fantastic baby i have, and thank God for him.
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mood: got such thing as praying mood?
music: fall to pieces - avril lavinge ("you're the only one i'd be with till the end when i come undone you will bring me back again")
i wanna blog about awak.
i think to awak, i am insane. sometimes downright crazy. i dun eat seafood, will order chicken most of the time, will only drink ice cold pokka green tea, hate shopping, even for things i need. i will remember things better than he does, so unfortunately that will make me remember when something is not done or when promises are not met. when i'm pmstic, i will turn into a crybaby and turn on the tap at the slightest thing.
of all my traits i can be demanding, unreasonable, selfish and downright sarcastic. and awak seems to bear the brunt of things. it's tiring for me to have to explain to him all of my emotions, but i guess it must be equally frustrating for him to get whammed by me left right centre upside down.
but...God is fair. just as i am blessed with a good memory, awak can forget things. he forgets when i've been unreasonably stubborn one day and still wakes me up the next morning with "hello dear!" sometimes he speaks to me in that baby voice that he uses only with me. he has this instinct where he will get me stuff that at first glance i think "oh my god what's this for" only to find that later i actually find it coming useful at times of need. his gift of being calm and collected when i'm falling apart.
i'm like a kite. and awak is my string. he lets me soar into the heights, but he will always keep me attached and grounded so i know my footing. he holds me tightly so i dun get lost in turbulant winds and violent storms. he decorates me, so i look good when i shine. he gives me freedom to be myself in my space, but always pulls me close when i charter into dangerous territory.
i know awak loves me. and the years we've been together are not proof of that - rather, they are a testament of the everyday things that he does to express the love, appreciation and respect he has for me. he loves me, faults and all.
so i thank Him. for granting me His Love, His Peace and His Tranquility thru awak.
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