mood: i-hate people mood
music: the one from malcolm in the middle..."YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME NOW!"
help...i'm surrounded by stupid people.
YOU! the one who talks so damn much but nothing gets done. basket...stop talking and work already. you think dreams put food on the table? you think cracking jokes and pulling funny faces will help meet our deadlines? balls to you. either get your act together or shut up.
and YOU! keep complaining about other people's work. oh for fish's sake SHUT UP ALREADY! somebody stole your ideas? somebody took credit for your work? somebody cut you in the line? well...BOO-FREAKING-HOO! wake up...and smell the bullcrap. this is life. face it.
and don't even get me started on YOU! who the hucking fell do you think you are? who died and made you the BLOG POLICE? read my blog if you want to. judge me if you care...but don't you dare come to your own conclusions and assume that they are mine as well.gawd...the nerve of some people.
you are three of the saddest sorriest and stupidest people i've ever met!
there...you've made me cry. happy?
Monday, April 24, 2006
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Ungentlewomanly Behaviour
now c'mon admit it...which one of you bozos did this?
"you are slut. foto with arie! you No.1 whore!"
"you are slut. foto with arie! you No.1 whore!"
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Free To Decide
mood: clarity is my middle name
music: free to decide - the cranberries ("i'm free to decide and i'm not so suicidal after all")
why is it that some people never learn to be themselves? why some people hide behind others?
i met bubbles (pseudonym, people...pseudonym!) recently. was quite suprised with this side of her that i've never seen before...in all this time of knowing her. and it was really really pleasant to see the real her...beneath all the layers of insecurities.
it was really hard for us to be friends for a while...coz her constant references to her best friend was driving me insane. i mean...the woman could not pick out what to eat or what to wear without consulting someone else! yeah lah i used to do that to sister all the time when she was still around but that was just to piss her off....gosh...i could never understand why she felt that she had to have another person's opinion to do something. darling...that grey mass between your ears...it's working, no?
see peeps...the problem with her is that she is always hiding behind the shadow of someone else...most often it's one of her friends, or boyfriend, or colleague...i dun care lah who! point is she never comes up to the top. she remains hidden under everything else. i'd like to see her step out of that more and let people know her as bubbles...and not somebody's friend, somebody's girlfriend or somebody's colleague.
everyone is beautiful, bubbles. everyone is talented, everyone is unique, everyone is special. if you let people see you like that more often you'll find that there's a lot in you for people to love.
He created you in perfection; you are enough as the person you are, dear.
the next time you have a doubt...whether should you trust someone, or is green your colour or should you have that for lunch or does your butt look big ...ask yourself, just before you ask your friend...ask yourself.
music: free to decide - the cranberries ("i'm free to decide and i'm not so suicidal after all")
why is it that some people never learn to be themselves? why some people hide behind others?
i met bubbles (pseudonym, people...pseudonym!) recently. was quite suprised with this side of her that i've never seen before...in all this time of knowing her. and it was really really pleasant to see the real her...beneath all the layers of insecurities.
it was really hard for us to be friends for a while...coz her constant references to her best friend was driving me insane. i mean...the woman could not pick out what to eat or what to wear without consulting someone else! yeah lah i used to do that to sister all the time when she was still around but that was just to piss her off....gosh...i could never understand why she felt that she had to have another person's opinion to do something. darling...that grey mass between your ears...it's working, no?
see peeps...the problem with her is that she is always hiding behind the shadow of someone else...most often it's one of her friends, or boyfriend, or colleague...i dun care lah who! point is she never comes up to the top. she remains hidden under everything else. i'd like to see her step out of that more and let people know her as bubbles...and not somebody's friend, somebody's girlfriend or somebody's colleague.
everyone is beautiful, bubbles. everyone is talented, everyone is unique, everyone is special. if you let people see you like that more often you'll find that there's a lot in you for people to love.
He created you in perfection; you are enough as the person you are, dear.
the next time you have a doubt...whether should you trust someone, or is green your colour or should you have that for lunch or does your butt look big ...ask yourself, just before you ask your friend...ask yourself.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Ada Apa Dengan Peterpan?
mood: post gastronomical exercise languidity
music: superman - five for fighting (didn't remember the lyrics then, sure as hell don't remember them now...*lol*)
ok ok...i've been asked this question one too many times. so i guess now it's time i speak up.
there were only so many times that i was this insane about a band or an artiste. it started with luke perry of beverly hills 90210 (remember the hair? *swoon*). then it was take that for the loooo oooooooooooooongest time (mark owen was beyond cute ok!). more recently was singapore's very own abang opik batisah...but that one i was kindda grey for me...my adoration for him was born out of my disgust at having a certain cher yer nun alip win the SI competition.
so why peterpan? why now?
it started with a group of orphans singing "dan mungkin bila nanti kita kan bertemu lagi" to some facilitators who were saying a very difficult goodbye. just imagine that? two people from totally different backgrounds thrown together by fate and by fate, they will part. almost as poignant as "i'll see you when you get there...if you ever get there...will you ever get there..." kindda emotion. a rhetorical question that will kill you to answer.
it started with mungkin nanti. then there was mimpi yang sempurna back when my special angle still loved me ("aku dan semua yang terluka kerana kita"). ayah aceh tercinta ("lihatlah hari berganti namun tiada seindah dulu") made me ache to be the person i was when i was there. di atas normal jumped me from behind ("ku mencari hati yang ku benci") when he came into my life, shook me to my very core and threatened to break every single one of my principles. tak bisakah ("hatiku bimbang namun tetap pikirkanmu") made me miss peterpan so much when it signalled the end of their merdaka stadium concert. then...no need to say lah hor...kukatakan dengan indah ("kau buat ku terjatuh dan terjatuh lagi") described the entire alampeterpan experience. being in bandung was all about menunggumu ("bila rindu ini masih milikmu"). and now, even though awak and i are counting down the mere days left, it's still khayalan tingkat tinggi ("yang ku nanti saat memegang tangannya")
it's not like i went looking for the songs to fill the soundtrack of my life. the songs found me.
yang terdalam ("takkan lelah aku menanti takkan hilang cintaku ini") , taman langit ("ini taman langitku. tak perlu kau bayangkan") and tertinggalkan waktu ("kau sadari semua yang berjalan telah tinggalkan mu") were included not for any specific reason other than the fact that it was love at first hearing. the very first time i heard these three songs, i knew i was in love. i didn't care that these tunes were not commercially arranged...i loved them for that. tertinggalkan waktu holds the record for being my all-time favourite peterpan tune.
therefore peeps...it's really very simple. i get peterpan. peterpan gets me. and the ones who ask me, "why peterpan?" don't get it.
lost in translation
"dan mungkin bila nanti kita kan bertemu lagi" - "when will we ever meet again"
"aku dan semua yang terluka kerana kita" - "me and all who were hurt by us"
"lihatlah hari berganti namun tiada seindah dulu" - "the days go by but it will never be as beautiful as before"
"hatiku bimbang namun tetap pikirkanmu" - "my heart worries but still i think of you"
"kau buat ku terjatuh dan terjatuh lagi" - "you make me fall and fall all over again"
"bila rindu ini masih milikmu" - "when you are still the one i miss"
"yang ku nanti saat memegang tangannya" - "i wanna hold your hand" (ala the beatles like that)
"takkan lelah aku menanti takkan hilang cintaku ini" - "i won't be weary of waiting. the love that i have won't fade"
"ini taman langitku. tak perlu kau bayangkan" - "this is my sky garden. there's no need for you to imagine"
"kau sadari semua yang berjalan telah tinggalkan mu" - "you realized all that's passed has left you behind"
crap i'm totally butchering peterpan's works....sorry boril! : )
music: superman - five for fighting (didn't remember the lyrics then, sure as hell don't remember them now...*lol*)
ok ok...i've been asked this question one too many times. so i guess now it's time i speak up.
there were only so many times that i was this insane about a band or an artiste. it started with luke perry of beverly hills 90210 (remember the hair? *swoon*). then it was take that for the loooo oooooooooooooongest time (mark owen was beyond cute ok!). more recently was singapore's very own abang opik batisah...but that one i was kindda grey for me...my adoration for him was born out of my disgust at having a certain cher yer nun alip win the SI competition.
so why peterpan? why now?
it started with a group of orphans singing "dan mungkin bila nanti kita kan bertemu lagi" to some facilitators who were saying a very difficult goodbye. just imagine that? two people from totally different backgrounds thrown together by fate and by fate, they will part. almost as poignant as "i'll see you when you get there...if you ever get there...will you ever get there..." kindda emotion. a rhetorical question that will kill you to answer.
it started with mungkin nanti. then there was mimpi yang sempurna back when my special angle still loved me ("aku dan semua yang terluka kerana kita"). ayah aceh tercinta ("lihatlah hari berganti namun tiada seindah dulu") made me ache to be the person i was when i was there. di atas normal jumped me from behind ("ku mencari hati yang ku benci") when he came into my life, shook me to my very core and threatened to break every single one of my principles. tak bisakah ("hatiku bimbang namun tetap pikirkanmu") made me miss peterpan so much when it signalled the end of their merdaka stadium concert. then...no need to say lah hor...kukatakan dengan indah ("kau buat ku terjatuh dan terjatuh lagi") described the entire alampeterpan experience. being in bandung was all about menunggumu ("bila rindu ini masih milikmu"). and now, even though awak and i are counting down the mere days left, it's still khayalan tingkat tinggi ("yang ku nanti saat memegang tangannya")
it's not like i went looking for the songs to fill the soundtrack of my life. the songs found me.
yang terdalam ("takkan lelah aku menanti takkan hilang cintaku ini") , taman langit ("ini taman langitku. tak perlu kau bayangkan") and tertinggalkan waktu ("kau sadari semua yang berjalan telah tinggalkan mu") were included not for any specific reason other than the fact that it was love at first hearing. the very first time i heard these three songs, i knew i was in love. i didn't care that these tunes were not commercially arranged...i loved them for that. tertinggalkan waktu holds the record for being my all-time favourite peterpan tune.
therefore peeps...it's really very simple. i get peterpan. peterpan gets me. and the ones who ask me, "why peterpan?" don't get it.
lost in translation
"dan mungkin bila nanti kita kan bertemu lagi" - "when will we ever meet again"
"aku dan semua yang terluka kerana kita" - "me and all who were hurt by us"
"lihatlah hari berganti namun tiada seindah dulu" - "the days go by but it will never be as beautiful as before"
"hatiku bimbang namun tetap pikirkanmu" - "my heart worries but still i think of you"
"kau buat ku terjatuh dan terjatuh lagi" - "you make me fall and fall all over again"
"bila rindu ini masih milikmu" - "when you are still the one i miss"
"yang ku nanti saat memegang tangannya" - "i wanna hold your hand" (ala the beatles like that)
"takkan lelah aku menanti takkan hilang cintaku ini" - "i won't be weary of waiting. the love that i have won't fade"
"ini taman langitku. tak perlu kau bayangkan" - "this is my sky garden. there's no need for you to imagine"
"kau sadari semua yang berjalan telah tinggalkan mu" - "you realized all that's passed has left you behind"
crap i'm totally butchering peterpan's works....sorry boril! : )
Thursday, April 06, 2006
basecamp pics
a lovers' tiff...
...but then we made up...aww~~
chilling to the same groove
chatting and voting at the same time
alampeterpan babes with andika and ariel
...but then we made up...aww~~
chilling to the same groove
chatting and voting at the same time
alampeterpan babes with andika and ariel
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Friday, March 31, 2006
Away
- in bandung, indonesia from 1st April 2006 - 4th April 2006 -
for wat...you guess lah huh?
*grinz*...see y'all soon! pray for my safe journey...
for wat...you guess lah huh?
*grinz*...see y'all soon! pray for my safe journey...
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Friday, March 17, 2006
Not An Executive, Not Yet A Manager
mood: sad and disappointed.
music: maaf - jikustik ("kau harus tahu dalam hati ku bergetar" / "you must know my heart quivers inside")
so! how does it feel to not fit in?
i've never had a problem with fitting in. in school i was at ease with the geeks club discussing books. i was on food-sharing basis with the jocks in the soccer team. i was also able to sit down and let rip a big one when chilling with the slackers. sitting in a majlis of ilmu learning from teachers at the mosque, no problem.
i was also contented to be by myself. buried in a good book for hours. or doing the chores with the player on top volume in my ear and yoddling along to the songs. or doing the running laps around my neighbourhood. i was ok.
i fit in. either in a group or by myself.
but lately...i think i've lots my place. i don't know where i belong. neither here nor there. not welcomed here. embraced there with conditions.
please...just tell me to leave. ask me to respectfully butt out. i will.
but do not treat me like i am invincible. do not assume i know i'm not wanted. do not share your private jokes in my face and expect me to laugh along. do not tell me a cock-and-bull story and expect me to believe in you.
and therefore....do not expect me to share with you. do not expect me to save your ass when it matters. do not count on me to speak up for you. do not be certain that i will stand up for you. do not bank on me to defend you.
at least my ptf is around. my ptf makes time go by so fast that i forget i'm crying. or i'm upset. my ptf hides things from me coz my ptf would rather we concentrate on me and discuss me. and my ptf will know how to read me. it's amazing how my ptf can do all these things, given that we just solidified our friendship recently...but my ptf can do that.
and for that, i am deeply grateful to my ptf. thank you. so much. for getting me though this tough time. and i'll remember what you said about knowing who your friends are. and how to tell the fair-weathered once from the real gems.
thanks ptf...you're a gem.
music: maaf - jikustik ("kau harus tahu dalam hati ku bergetar" / "you must know my heart quivers inside")
so! how does it feel to not fit in?
i've never had a problem with fitting in. in school i was at ease with the geeks club discussing books. i was on food-sharing basis with the jocks in the soccer team. i was also able to sit down and let rip a big one when chilling with the slackers. sitting in a majlis of ilmu learning from teachers at the mosque, no problem.
i was also contented to be by myself. buried in a good book for hours. or doing the chores with the player on top volume in my ear and yoddling along to the songs. or doing the running laps around my neighbourhood. i was ok.
i fit in. either in a group or by myself.
but lately...i think i've lots my place. i don't know where i belong. neither here nor there. not welcomed here. embraced there with conditions.
please...just tell me to leave. ask me to respectfully butt out. i will.
but do not treat me like i am invincible. do not assume i know i'm not wanted. do not share your private jokes in my face and expect me to laugh along. do not tell me a cock-and-bull story and expect me to believe in you.
and therefore....do not expect me to share with you. do not expect me to save your ass when it matters. do not count on me to speak up for you. do not be certain that i will stand up for you. do not bank on me to defend you.
at least my ptf is around. my ptf makes time go by so fast that i forget i'm crying. or i'm upset. my ptf hides things from me coz my ptf would rather we concentrate on me and discuss me. and my ptf will know how to read me. it's amazing how my ptf can do all these things, given that we just solidified our friendship recently...but my ptf can do that.
and for that, i am deeply grateful to my ptf. thank you. so much. for getting me though this tough time. and i'll remember what you said about knowing who your friends are. and how to tell the fair-weathered once from the real gems.
thanks ptf...you're a gem.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Somthing I Stole From Toots's Blog
mood: half-blind
music: jikustic - maaf
i stole this from toots' blog. don't care. : )
what was i doing ten years ago?
this time ten years ago...i had just entered ccks. brand new world, with no cares in life. was still with ah boy...my first relationship with a superdooper cute chinese boy. so blissful...life was so much easier back then.
five song which i know all the lyrics off the top of my head now
mungkin nanti - peterpan
she will be loved - maroon five
five things i would do if i am a millionaire
open a free english school in aceh
start a trust fund for orphans
set up a "get-me-married" cooperative
secure a never-ending supply of farmpride chicken nuggets
buy a black-green mini ("living in a material world...and i am a material girl...")
five bad habits
bite the inside of my lips all the time
sneeze and blow my nose very loudly
talk to fast and loud
drive too fast (fast is subjective though)
never bother to wash my car
five things i like doing
sleep
sing
dream (hey they are the building blocks of success!)
read
drive
five things i will never do again
eat at the bkt gombak shop (food cmi, service cmi)
trust the people who have failed me before
break my spectacles
try to fix my PC
marry (heheheheh)
music: jikustic - maaf
i stole this from toots' blog. don't care. : )
what was i doing ten years ago?
this time ten years ago...i had just entered ccks. brand new world, with no cares in life. was still with ah boy...my first relationship with a superdooper cute chinese boy. so blissful...life was so much easier back then.
five song which i know all the lyrics off the top of my head now
mungkin nanti - peterpan
she will be loved - maroon five
five things i would do if i am a millionaire
open a free english school in aceh
start a trust fund for orphans
set up a "get-me-married" cooperative
secure a never-ending supply of farmpride chicken nuggets
buy a black-green mini ("living in a material world...and i am a material girl...")
five bad habits
bite the inside of my lips all the time
sneeze and blow my nose very loudly
talk to fast and loud
drive too fast (fast is subjective though)
never bother to wash my car
five things i like doing
sleep
sing
dream (hey they are the building blocks of success!)
read
drive
five things i will never do again
eat at the bkt gombak shop (food cmi, service cmi)
trust the people who have failed me before
break my spectacles
try to fix my PC
marry (heheheheh)
Friday, March 03, 2006
Time's Up
when was the last time you thought about death?
i'm not ready to die...but i seem to live like i won't.
i'm not ready to die...but i seem to live like i won't.
Monday, February 27, 2006
And Your Time Starts Now...
mood: sleepyyyyyyyy
music: peterpan.....(didn't you see that coming?*lol*)
hi...
yes i know...it's been a while. i just felt that i had nothing to blog about...and i didn't want to subject you to the oh so mundane things that happened in my life.
*sigh*.....so much to do so little time...by now you should know what i'm busy with. things at work are finally falling in place; my programmes should be running smoothly come first week of march. adventure accounts are also due to follow-up...and no thanks to the eunach...i'm proud to say i did it all by meself. *hrrmph*
had a total blast with the gang on movies night...from the getting ready to the being there and the supper after. i love the gang...
Fantastic Six...we are missing one terribly...
from left: bananaz, chups, viva and coffeebean. yeah we took hours to get ready. but we're girls. so shuddup already. : )
from left: shawn, chups, viva and weeping...very nice pic...i dunno why lah? can anyone pin point it?
things on the home front aren't looking so rosy either...yes...mother has finally totally warmed up the the fact that it's happening, with or without her, so either she jumps on the bandwagon or fall off...alamak...i tell you she's jumped on it with full vigor she's driving me absolutely i n s a n e.
i mean...now she's the one rushing. this and that. here and there. and i for one do not like people rushing me...she rush i rush...dammnit...we could have done that ages ago but no...who chose to sulk and mope? and now who...?*sigh*...never mind.
all these pressure and stress...i'm beng stretched very thin. i seriously do not need additional crap from bozos...so i do apologize if i have offended you in anyway...i'm sorry..TRULY! now see you what a horrible person i really am...
but it's ok...i'll behave in the manner that is expected of me and i will hold it together. until that day when it will all fall apart...
insya Allah by then awak will piece me together again...
music: peterpan.....(didn't you see that coming?*lol*)
hi...
yes i know...it's been a while. i just felt that i had nothing to blog about...and i didn't want to subject you to the oh so mundane things that happened in my life.
*sigh*.....so much to do so little time...by now you should know what i'm busy with. things at work are finally falling in place; my programmes should be running smoothly come first week of march. adventure accounts are also due to follow-up...and no thanks to the eunach...i'm proud to say i did it all by meself. *hrrmph*
had a total blast with the gang on movies night...from the getting ready to the being there and the supper after. i love the gang...
Fantastic Six...we are missing one terribly...
from left: bananaz, chups, viva and coffeebean. yeah we took hours to get ready. but we're girls. so shuddup already. : )
from left: shawn, chups, viva and weeping...very nice pic...i dunno why lah? can anyone pin point it?
things on the home front aren't looking so rosy either...yes...mother has finally totally warmed up the the fact that it's happening, with or without her, so either she jumps on the bandwagon or fall off...alamak...i tell you she's jumped on it with full vigor she's driving me absolutely i n s a n e.
i mean...now she's the one rushing. this and that. here and there. and i for one do not like people rushing me...she rush i rush...dammnit...we could have done that ages ago but no...who chose to sulk and mope? and now who...?*sigh*...never mind.
all these pressure and stress...i'm beng stretched very thin. i seriously do not need additional crap from bozos...so i do apologize if i have offended you in anyway...i'm sorry..TRULY! now see you what a horrible person i really am...
but it's ok...i'll behave in the manner that is expected of me and i will hold it together. until that day when it will all fall apart...
insya Allah by then awak will piece me together again...
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
No!....Really?
mood: stupified
music: jauh mimpiku - peterpan ("ku harus lepaskan mu / i have to let you go")
it feels so good to let go.
sometimes you have to look at your life and really think about that matters to you most. what are the big things? what are the little ones?
for me, since it happened, i started looking at things in a new angle. sure...the insanities are there, the worldly urgency is always pushing me...but now, at the back of my mind i know.
i know that you can treat me however fashion you want. go ahead. just say what you wanna say to me, be it to mock me, ridicule me or even to humour me. treat me as you wish too, pretend i'm important, pretend you really wanna know what i think, pretend my opinion matters.
i've got good news for you. i am not judged by you. there is A HIGHER BEING who Judges All. and i will only answer to Him.
i hope, for your sake, when He Asks, you can answer.
enjoy...stupidest quote of the month:
"we grow older by the year." - e****h
really?...no shit.
music: jauh mimpiku - peterpan ("ku harus lepaskan mu / i have to let you go")
it feels so good to let go.
sometimes you have to look at your life and really think about that matters to you most. what are the big things? what are the little ones?
for me, since it happened, i started looking at things in a new angle. sure...the insanities are there, the worldly urgency is always pushing me...but now, at the back of my mind i know.
i know that you can treat me however fashion you want. go ahead. just say what you wanna say to me, be it to mock me, ridicule me or even to humour me. treat me as you wish too, pretend i'm important, pretend you really wanna know what i think, pretend my opinion matters.
i've got good news for you. i am not judged by you. there is A HIGHER BEING who Judges All. and i will only answer to Him.
i hope, for your sake, when He Asks, you can answer.
enjoy...stupidest quote of the month:
"we grow older by the year." - e****h
really?...no shit.
Monday, January 30, 2006
more pics of peterpan
i know...i know...i have to stop this insanity soon....
but in the meantime....ENJOY!
loekman - di atas normal
indra - di atas normal
ariel has a white guitar
nope...it's actually black.
look at that smile...who wouldn't melt?
damn his coat looks good.
but in the meantime....ENJOY!
loekman - di atas normal
indra - di atas normal
ariel has a white guitar
nope...it's actually black.
look at that smile...who wouldn't melt?
damn his coat looks good.
Friday, January 27, 2006
Fool
mood: that startling clarity and peace that you feel just seconds before you jump off a cliff
music: peterpan's been on my replay mode for the past two weeks...whaddaya expect?
yes...i know. i have been uber lazy in updating this blog. but it's just because i like going to my blog and seeing the boys smile. call me delusion. so what else is new?
anyway....things have pretty much settled from the insane december i had. with the aceh trip, the peterpan concert, the sin ming interviews and all the crazy times with awak settling home issues...i needed some time to recoup and take stock of year 2006.
i wish for time. so true that He said we are all in loss "except such as have Faith and do righteous deeds and (join together) in the mutual Teaching of Truth, and of Patience and Constancy."
i wasted so much time in 2005. hindsight is 20-20 after all. i never noticed the stupidity of my actions until now. so many other things i could have done, would have achieved...all gone down the drain thanks to my own shortcomings.
well...beverly knight sang "shoulda woulda coulda were the last words of a fool"....so this year i plan to not be a fool. this gives you (yes you...the one reading this right now) the permission to call me a fool should you see me doing something err...fool-ish.
dear God, perhaps all this time i have been praying for the wrong things. this time, i won't pray for a lighter load. i pray for a stronger back.
music: peterpan's been on my replay mode for the past two weeks...whaddaya expect?
yes...i know. i have been uber lazy in updating this blog. but it's just because i like going to my blog and seeing the boys smile. call me delusion. so what else is new?
anyway....things have pretty much settled from the insane december i had. with the aceh trip, the peterpan concert, the sin ming interviews and all the crazy times with awak settling home issues...i needed some time to recoup and take stock of year 2006.
i wish for time. so true that He said we are all in loss "except such as have Faith and do righteous deeds and (join together) in the mutual Teaching of Truth, and of Patience and Constancy."
i wasted so much time in 2005. hindsight is 20-20 after all. i never noticed the stupidity of my actions until now. so many other things i could have done, would have achieved...all gone down the drain thanks to my own shortcomings.
well...beverly knight sang "shoulda woulda coulda were the last words of a fool"....so this year i plan to not be a fool. this gives you (yes you...the one reading this right now) the permission to call me a fool should you see me doing something err...fool-ish.
dear God, perhaps all this time i have been praying for the wrong things. this time, i won't pray for a lighter load. i pray for a stronger back.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
PETERPAN 1 JAN 2006 STADIUM MERDEKA KUALA LUMPUR
mood: surreal
music: my own blend of peterpan
i cannot believe it. i went to KL and was within 5 metres of peterpan!
from left: reza, andika, loekman, uki, ariel, indra
nothing i can say will adequately describe the feeling i brought home with me. my first time in a concert in malaysia...what an experience!
it was worth it. the seven hour train ride. the roundabout route we took to find royale bintang. the waiting in the rain for like 2 hours. the shouting and singing-along. the walk back and who could forget the very eventful morning after.
*blank*.
yes i am actually stupified. speechless. tergamam aku dibuatnya.
before he took off his jacket
after he took off his jacket
still jacket-less
reza (left background), loekman (front) and andika (right background)
music: my own blend of peterpan
i cannot believe it. i went to KL and was within 5 metres of peterpan!
from left: reza, andika, loekman, uki, ariel, indra
nothing i can say will adequately describe the feeling i brought home with me. my first time in a concert in malaysia...what an experience!
it was worth it. the seven hour train ride. the roundabout route we took to find royale bintang. the waiting in the rain for like 2 hours. the shouting and singing-along. the walk back and who could forget the very eventful morning after.
*blank*.
yes i am actually stupified. speechless. tergamam aku dibuatnya.
before he took off his jacket
after he took off his jacket
still jacket-less
reza (left background), loekman (front) and andika (right background)
andika, why won't you come up front???
i love peterpan. their concert was amazing. they are amazing. the atmosphere was amazing. the crowd was amazing. the weather was not so amazing, but well worth it. they say hujan bawak rahmat, and for that i thank Him for giving me the experience.
*aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
ggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*
ahh~~ now we've gotten that out of the way, i can tell you more about the concert. but the highlight of the concert was not the concert itself. it was more of what happened the morning after.
i can't really put it in writing just suffice to say that if you ever get the opportunity to attend their concert, please do. yeah yeah i know a concert is a concert is a concert, but it's the artist that makes it special for you and for me it was peterpan.
the next morning after subh nyonyah and i went out in the search of shops to get our stuff. in the hopes of at least getting a dry pair of pants for the trip home...yeah right. alas all the shops were closed still, it was after all just past seven.
so we walked and walked a little around petaling street and nyonyah spied "hotel instana" looming in the skyline.
nyonyah: "eh, isn't that where they are staying?"me: "yeah...haha..."
not quite sure whose bright idea it was to ambush peterpan at their concert. i mean, seriously what were we thinking?
so we went to hotel istana. and already spotted the peterpan car and the peterpan van. hoping to meet them when they came down to breakfast, we realized with stupidity that neither one of us has a pen or paper or marker or anything for the boys to sign on! so i made the mad dash to the 7-11 across the street to buy two markers...ya Allah...sanggup seh!
a kind soul noticed us hanging around.
kind soul: "waiting for peterpan?"
me (trying to sound nonchalant): "oh yeah...if we're lucky. but we can't stay long."
kind soul: "why don't you go up to the 14th floor? they're all housed there."
i was like wtf...are you freaking serious? with my heart beating so fast but walking back to where nyonyah was sitting and i told her. we thought we'd just give it a shot to go up to the 14th floor and if we got stopped by their security, oh well what else is new, right?
so we went up. and the floor was deserted. no mean-looking bouncers were lurking in the corridors, wanting to toss me out the building for trespassing onto the 14th floor. so we walked around and were trying to figure out which rooms the boys were in. i mean, all six of them can't be in the same room, right? walked some more and i decided to walk into the storeroom where the housekeeping staff kept their equipment. already so jittery from excitement and anticipation, i was shocked out of my socks when a voice boomed "WHO ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?"
it was one of the chambermaster. sitting on the floor, resting behind his cart. i squatted next to him and asked, "abang, peterpan bilik maner?" (brother, which rooms are peterpan in?)
guess what he did? he pulled out a printout from his pocket. it was the boys' room list!!!!
it's just getting better and better...so armed with the list, we went a-knocking on their doors.
yes...i can HEAR you groaning and cursing me. yes it was terribly rude of me to knock on peterpan's door at 8.30am the night after their concert. and i'm sorry but what would you have done!?
truth be told, i could only tell ariel, andika and loekman apart. i'm not sure who the rest of the boys are, so the first door was open by a rather sleepie eyed head scratching peterpan.
i HAD to ask, "nie bilik peterpan eh?" (is this peterpan's room?) and he grunted in reply.
but he was game and gave us a nice autograph...we thanked him for his willingness and apologized for disturbing his sleep.
as the door closed, i turned to nyonyah and we gave each other a muted scream. you know the one girls give when they're flustered and excited about seeing a famous cute star in his boxers? yeah that one!
i quickly turned around and "eh siapa seh yang tu?" (which one was that one?) yes...we had no idea who that was. can you imagine????
it was uki.
imagine this face sleepie eyed....so cute right?
the next room was andika's. even cuter in real life and i got real close to him coz he was sooooo far away on stage behind the keyboard.
this one is the cute one!
the same routine and i asked him "so kapan kalian ker singapur?" (when are you guys coming to singapore?)
and he said "april, mungkin." (april, maybe).
my darling, that's good enough for me!
so me and nyonyah went round knocking on the others' doors. alas indra and loekman were still sleeping, it was their wives who answered the door. i even got a glimpse of loekman's lil girl! so sweet! we congratulated them on a fantastic concert and left them to their sleep.
we did try ariel's room, but no one answered. and reza...well, bro, sorry to have disturbed you wifey. please say a big sorry to the missus for waking you peeps up.
so nyonyah and i took a slow stroll out of the hotel and so nonchalantly got into a cab at 9.15am (hello are we forgettign that our bus leaves at 9.30 at pudu???) and in the cab gave the most girliest squeal we would ever give and shocked the taxi driver.
a 2 minutes ride back to royale bintang and a mad dash to our rooms to pack our barang barang and in 3 minutes we were back dowstairs in a cab waiting to take us to pudu. 2 minutes later (thank God there wasn't a jam) we were on the eltabina bus en route home.
so that's my peterpan experience. insane? yes. memorable? definitely. out of this world.
i'm still star-strucked. how about you?
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
On The Run
hey peeps...
my schedule in december:
10th - 13th : segamat - cherating (malaysia)
20th - 27th : banda aceh - samalanga - lokhsamauwe (indonesia)
yes i've been away...as you can see...and i'm so sorry i forgot to update stuff here. i will be back with a vengence, but not before
peterpan live 1st jan stadium merdeka!
yes...i'm going to see peterpan live in concert!!!!!!!!!
have lots to share, peeps, so please stay tuned...
*sings* tak bisakah kau menungguku....
hatiku bimbang namun tetap pikirkanmu
selalu
selalu dalam hatiku
ku melangkah sejauh apapun itu
selalu
engkau di dalam hatiku
ku berjalan berjalan memutar waktu
berharap temukan sisa hatimu
mengertilah ku ingin engkau begitu
mengerti kau di dalam hatiku
tak bisakah kau menungguku
hingga nanti tetap menunggu
tak bisakah kau menuntunku
menemani jalan hidupku
dara kau menjadi hidupku
kemana kau tahu isi hatiku
tunggu sejenak aku di situ
jalanku jalan menemukanmu
my heart worries but still i think of you
always
you're always in my heart
even when we're miles apart
always you're in my heart
i walk around spinning time
hoping for remnants of your love
understand that i want you
understand you're in my heart
can't you wait for me
and keep on waiting for me
can't you watch me
and accompany me on my life journey
girl you are my life
you know what's in my heart
just wait a while for me there
my path to meet you
my schedule in december:
10th - 13th : segamat - cherating (malaysia)
20th - 27th : banda aceh - samalanga - lokhsamauwe (indonesia)
yes i've been away...as you can see...and i'm so sorry i forgot to update stuff here. i will be back with a vengence, but not before
peterpan live 1st jan stadium merdeka!
yes...i'm going to see peterpan live in concert!!!!!!!!!
have lots to share, peeps, so please stay tuned...
*sings* tak bisakah kau menungguku....
hatiku bimbang namun tetap pikirkanmu
selalu
selalu dalam hatiku
ku melangkah sejauh apapun itu
selalu
engkau di dalam hatiku
ku berjalan berjalan memutar waktu
berharap temukan sisa hatimu
mengertilah ku ingin engkau begitu
mengerti kau di dalam hatiku
tak bisakah kau menungguku
hingga nanti tetap menunggu
tak bisakah kau menuntunku
menemani jalan hidupku
dara kau menjadi hidupku
kemana kau tahu isi hatiku
tunggu sejenak aku di situ
jalanku jalan menemukanmu
my heart worries but still i think of you
always
you're always in my heart
even when we're miles apart
always you're in my heart
i walk around spinning time
hoping for remnants of your love
understand that i want you
understand you're in my heart
can't you wait for me
and keep on waiting for me
can't you watch me
and accompany me on my life journey
girl you are my life
you know what's in my heart
just wait a while for me there
my path to meet you
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Pull Pull Here and Pull Pull There
extremely emotional entry alert.
you are highly advised to NOT make non constructive comments. and beside...i don't care what you think anyway, so piss off.
i'm tired. i dun wan't to think anymore.
yes...planning a wedding is blardy hard. i know that now. to quote coffeebean, "there will always be a time when you have a disagreement or a misunderstanding...no 2 person has the same head/brain"
but! when i want A and awak wants E...if we want to resolve it, we have to agree to meet at C. and what is C, children? C-O-M-P-R-O-M-I-S-E. c'mon...say it with me. COMPROMISE.
but ok since no one cares two cahoots about what i want, it's ok then.
i'll just whip out my magic wand and fulfill everybody's wishes, mother's, father's and awak's and maybe spare the leftovers for meself. if there is any.
so go ahead, my loved ones, tear me apart. if that is what it takes to find some freaking peace around here and for someone to make the blinking decisions, i guess my sanity is not very important after all.
i thank God for giving me this time in aceh to reflect on the bigger things in life. i thank Him for showing me my true purpose in life and why i am on His earth. i'll give you a clue: it's certainly not to choose wedding bands, juggle impossible timelines or plan for a one day wedding when the important thing is the marriage of a lifetime.
wayang drama peeps, sorry i am highly irritable and sensitive right now, especially with these matters of the heart and dick's ultra annoying back stabbing ways, so please forgive me.
darul peeps, yes...been really occupied with these stuff to put 100% into the aceh trip, but trust me the work will be done in time. we'll do good work in aceh.
and for you other peeps, if this entry offends you due to the gross language, sorry. i guess.
*sniff*...hucking fell.
where the heck is my time/date option!?
you are highly advised to NOT make non constructive comments. and beside...i don't care what you think anyway, so piss off.
i'm tired. i dun wan't to think anymore.
yes...planning a wedding is blardy hard. i know that now. to quote coffeebean, "there will always be a time when you have a disagreement or a misunderstanding...no 2 person has the same head/brain"
but! when i want A and awak wants E...if we want to resolve it, we have to agree to meet at C. and what is C, children? C-O-M-P-R-O-M-I-S-E. c'mon...say it with me. COMPROMISE.
but ok since no one cares two cahoots about what i want, it's ok then.
i'll just whip out my magic wand and fulfill everybody's wishes, mother's, father's and awak's and maybe spare the leftovers for meself. if there is any.
so go ahead, my loved ones, tear me apart. if that is what it takes to find some freaking peace around here and for someone to make the blinking decisions, i guess my sanity is not very important after all.
i thank God for giving me this time in aceh to reflect on the bigger things in life. i thank Him for showing me my true purpose in life and why i am on His earth. i'll give you a clue: it's certainly not to choose wedding bands, juggle impossible timelines or plan for a one day wedding when the important thing is the marriage of a lifetime.
wayang drama peeps, sorry i am highly irritable and sensitive right now, especially with these matters of the heart and dick's ultra annoying back stabbing ways, so please forgive me.
darul peeps, yes...been really occupied with these stuff to put 100% into the aceh trip, but trust me the work will be done in time. we'll do good work in aceh.
and for you other peeps, if this entry offends you due to the gross language, sorry. i guess.
*sniff*...hucking fell.
where the heck is my time/date option!?
Thursday, December 01, 2005
These Are The Dates
mood: yeah whatever
music: have a nice day - bon jovi ("when the world gets in my face i say have a nice day")
the past fourteen days have been a rollercoaster. just as i was recovering from post hari raya fatigue, things started rolling in.
baguana left and work stopped being funny. awak and i had a sudden flash of energy to search for our wedding bands, only to falter in our search. (why the heck do we need wedding bands anyway, we're malays, for fish's sake!).
work then progressed into torture and then planning my aceh trip began. culminated with my special angel's birthday...goodness...i feel like i've felt every possible emotion a human can emotionally have this past two weeks.
but...all's well ends well. bags sent us her lovely pictures and as estee lauder said, every woman looks radiant on her wedding day. sorry we could not be there, but best wishes to you and roger rabbit!
i'm feeling kindda stimulated at work nowadays coz of dick (not the real name, guys...duh~) hahaha...dick is really stimulating. dick is challenging and i consider dick my competitor. dick is good and very smart, enough to know what to do to get what. it's so fun and interesting for me to have a worthy adversary in the office. so we shall see...how i can find creative ways to outdo dick.
awak and my search for our wedding bands was thankfully resolved just last sunday, after two intensive days of thinking, calculating, selecting and of course bickering over the bands. it's times like this that i can see how different awak and i are, in our ideas and our notions. so of course there'll be disagreements along the way. i got so mad i barked at him (who knew i had canine tendencies?) and awak threw his usual moody and cold tantrum...*sigh*...aper lah susah sangat, kan? but in the end we resolved and had a real good time making up...*flutters eyelids shyly*...kan, awak, kan??? *muehahehaheahehehee*
oh yes...talking about that...finally i have some concrete dates of my wedding. mother has eventually thawed and finally (albeit reluctantly) agreed for the nikah to be on 18th May 2006 and the walimah on the 3th September 2006 (insya Allah) ....so peeps, expect to be activated for these dates... : )
darn...the finalizing of the dates also mean i have to sit down and start planning. grr...
music: have a nice day - bon jovi ("when the world gets in my face i say have a nice day")
the past fourteen days have been a rollercoaster. just as i was recovering from post hari raya fatigue, things started rolling in.
baguana left and work stopped being funny. awak and i had a sudden flash of energy to search for our wedding bands, only to falter in our search. (why the heck do we need wedding bands anyway, we're malays, for fish's sake!).
work then progressed into torture and then planning my aceh trip began. culminated with my special angel's birthday...goodness...i feel like i've felt every possible emotion a human can emotionally have this past two weeks.
but...all's well ends well. bags sent us her lovely pictures and as estee lauder said, every woman looks radiant on her wedding day. sorry we could not be there, but best wishes to you and roger rabbit!
i'm feeling kindda stimulated at work nowadays coz of dick (not the real name, guys...duh~) hahaha...dick is really stimulating. dick is challenging and i consider dick my competitor. dick is good and very smart, enough to know what to do to get what. it's so fun and interesting for me to have a worthy adversary in the office. so we shall see...how i can find creative ways to outdo dick.
awak and my search for our wedding bands was thankfully resolved just last sunday, after two intensive days of thinking, calculating, selecting and of course bickering over the bands. it's times like this that i can see how different awak and i are, in our ideas and our notions. so of course there'll be disagreements along the way. i got so mad i barked at him (who knew i had canine tendencies?) and awak threw his usual moody and cold tantrum...*sigh*...aper lah susah sangat, kan? but in the end we resolved and had a real good time making up...*flutters eyelids shyly*...kan, awak, kan??? *muehahehaheahehehee*
oh yes...talking about that...finally i have some concrete dates of my wedding. mother has eventually thawed and finally (albeit reluctantly) agreed for the nikah to be on 18th May 2006 and the walimah on the 3th September 2006 (insya Allah) ....so peeps, expect to be activated for these dates... : )
darn...the finalizing of the dates also mean i have to sit down and start planning. grr...
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