Sorry No Cure

Sorry No Cure

somebody hurt me very recently. actually it was over 3 weeks. at each incident, i confronted somebody about it. at each session somebody apologized again and again and express regrets at having wronged me. somebody could not even explain why somebody did it; somebody just said that it was a spur of the moment sin. somebody plead temporary insanity.

the first time it happened, i nearly died. my heart broke. the usual thoughts of being angry and betrayed and upset consumed me i was unable to function for 2 days. then we talked it out and somebody apologized and we put it behind us. or
so i thought.

a few days later it happened again and again i confronted somebody. somebody said that it was just a residual mistake. so i gave somebody the benefit of the doubt and again, we put it behind us.

then two weeks later, it happened. this time it happened on a larger scale. like tammy-tay-nyp-scandal proportions. this time there was no room for doubt as the evidence literally landed in my lap. does it ever end?

i consider somebody as someone important to me. that’s why i stayed and fought tooth and nails not to give up on somebody and work with somebody to overcome these obstacles.

somebody has apologized repeatedly. somebody admitted the mistakes, somebody tried to make up for it. come to think of it, somebody is still trying to absolve the wrongdoings to me.

so now the ball is in my court. yes, all the lies, the cover-ups, the sneaking around hurt. and now i need help to forgive somebody.

i considered payback. will this help? should i go out and do something that is of equal weight as what somebody did to me? so that somebody can feel the hurt somebody dished out? sorry ah, no strength to be the bigger person here.

i told somebody “i forgive you, but i cannot forget it just yet.” and somebody said, “it’s ok. take your time.”

so now i have the time, but no means. how do i forgive somebody? i keep remembering what somebody has done, it keeps replaying in my mind! does anyone know a doa/prayer to help me forget?