A Doa For Mother

mother, i love you. it's mother's day and you are my mother. only He knows everything that you have ever done for this family and truth be told, only He can reward you for it. out of all three of us (five, if you count awang and cici), i troubled you the most. the amount of trash and rubbish i gave you when i was younger would fill volumes and the older i got, the more naughtier i became.

i want you to know that it was all me.

nothing to do with the upbringing that you gave.
nothing to do with the love that you masked.
nothing to do with the care that you hid.

now my heart bleeds when i witness how selfish i have been and still am. my head hurts when i think of all that you bring to your sleep at night. my body aches to only imagine the load that you carry on your shoulders.

for sure, we don't talk enough. we argue too much. you work too hard and i worry you all the time. i should really listen to you more and be angry with you less. you should start writing again. and start smiling again. and start laughing again.

you have been a mother, and i will tell Him that.
i will ask Him everyday to Raise you to the levels, to be among those He Loves and who love Him. i will ask Him that He reward you my mother, as He has Promised.
i will ask Him to Bring you His Peace, His Love and His Faith to fill your heart.

one day i will be the person you have prayed i will become. one day i will earn your praises. one day you will be able to say that you are proud of me. i will work at it, until i deserve to be all these things.

most peeps i know will shudder to think that they will become just like their mothers some day.

i just wanted to tell you that i don't mind.