On The Run

hey peeps...

my schedule in december:

10th - 13th : segamat - cherating (malaysia)
20th - 27th : banda aceh - samalanga - lokhsamauwe (indonesia)

yes i've been away...as you can see...and i'm so sorry i forgot to update stuff here. i will be back with a vengence, but not before

peterpan live 1st jan stadium merdeka!

yes...i'm going to see peterpan live in concert!!!!!!!!!

have lots to share, peeps, so please stay tuned...

*sings* tak bisakah kau menungguku....

hatiku bimbang namun tetap pikirkanmu
selalu
selalu dalam hatiku
ku melangkah sejauh apapun itu
selalu
engkau di dalam hatiku

ku berjalan berjalan memutar waktu
berharap temukan sisa hatimu
mengertilah ku ingin engkau begitu
mengerti kau di dalam hatiku

tak bisakah kau menungguku
hingga nanti tetap menunggu
tak bisakah kau menuntunku
menemani jalan hidupku

dara kau menjadi hidupku
kemana kau tahu isi hatiku
tunggu sejenak aku di situ
jalanku jalan menemukanmu

my heart worries but still i think of you
always
you're always in my heart
even when we're miles apart
always you're in my heart

i walk around spinning time
hoping for remnants of your love
understand that i want you
understand you're in my heart

can't you wait for me
and keep on waiting for me
can't you watch me
and accompany me on my life journey

girl you are my life
you know what's in my heart
just wait a while for me there
my path to meet you

Pull Pull Here and Pull Pull There

extremely emotional entry alert.

you are highly advised to NOT make non constructive comments. and beside...i don't care what you think anyway, so piss off.

i'm tired. i dun wan't to think anymore.

yes...planning a wedding is blardy hard. i know that now. to quote coffeebean, "there will always be a time when you have a disagreement or a misunderstanding...no 2 person has the same head/brain"

but! when i want A and awak wants E...if we want to resolve it, we have to agree to meet at C. and what is C, children? C-O-M-P-R-O-M-I-S-E. c'mon...say it with me. COMPROMISE.

but ok since no one cares two cahoots about what i want, it's ok then.

i'll just whip out my magic wand and fulfill everybody's wishes, mother's, father's and awak's and maybe spare the leftovers for meself. if there is any.

so go ahead, my loved ones, tear me apart. if that is what it takes to find some freaking peace around here and for someone to make the blinking decisions, i guess my sanity is not very important after all.

i thank God for giving me this time in aceh to reflect on the bigger things in life. i thank Him for showing me my true purpose in life and why i am on His earth. i'll give you a clue: it's certainly not to choose wedding bands, juggle impossible timelines or plan for a one day wedding when the important thing is the marriage of a lifetime.

wayang drama peeps, sorry i am highly irritable and sensitive right now, especially with these matters of the heart and dick's ultra annoying back stabbing ways, so please forgive me.

darul peeps, yes...been really occupied with these stuff to put 100% into the aceh trip, but trust me the work will be done in time. we'll do good work in aceh.

and for you other peeps, if this entry offends you due to the gross language, sorry. i guess.

*sniff*...hucking fell.

where the heck is my time/date option!?

These Are The Dates

mood: yeah whatever
music: have a nice day - bon jovi ("when the world gets in my face i say have a nice day")

the past fourteen days have been a rollercoaster. just as i was recovering from post hari raya fatigue, things started rolling in.

baguana left and work stopped being funny. awak and i had a sudden flash of energy to search for our wedding bands, only to falter in our search. (why the heck do we need wedding bands anyway, we're malays, for fish's sake!).

work then progressed into torture and then planning my aceh trip began. culminated with my special angel's birthday...goodness...i feel like i've felt every possible emotion a human can emotionally have this past two weeks.

but...all's well ends well. bags sent us her lovely pictures and as estee lauder said, every woman looks radiant on her wedding day. sorry we could not be there, but best wishes to you and roger rabbit!

i'm feeling kindda stimulated at work nowadays coz of dick (not the real name, guys...duh~) hahaha...dick is really stimulating. dick is challenging and i consider dick my competitor. dick is good and very smart, enough to know what to do to get what. it's so fun and interesting for me to have a worthy adversary in the office. so we shall see...how i can find creative ways to outdo dick.

awak and my search for our wedding bands was thankfully resolved just last sunday, after two intensive days of thinking, calculating, selecting and of course bickering over the bands. it's times like this that i can see how different awak and i are, in our ideas and our notions. so of course there'll be disagreements along the way. i got so mad i barked at him (who knew i had canine tendencies?) and awak threw his usual moody and cold tantrum...*sigh*...aper lah susah sangat, kan? but in the end we resolved and had a real good time making up...*flutters eyelids shyly*...kan, awak, kan??? *muehahehaheahehehee*

oh yes...talking about that...finally i have some concrete dates of my wedding. mother has eventually thawed and finally (albeit reluctantly) agreed for the nikah to be on 18th May 2006 and the walimah on the 3th September 2006 (insya Allah) ....so peeps, expect to be activated for these dates... : )

darn...the finalizing of the dates also mean i have to sit down and start planning. grr...

11 People On A Rope

11 People On A Rope

eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. the rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided, that one had to leave, because otherwise, they were all going to fall. they weren't able to name that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech.

she said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little returns.

as soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands.

Lie and Don't Get Caught

so disappointing.

why did you lie? why did you think that you had to lie? why the need to deceive?

i just don't get it. if you didn't want to join us, say so. if you wanted to go out with other people, well go ahead. nobody's the slave of no one.

it's stupid, lie about something as trivial as jalan raya.

did you seriously think i wouldn't find out?

next time look at me when you're lying to my face ok?

Open Letter

mood: vindicatedmusic: polaris - jimmyeatworld ("i'll say it straight and plain. i know i've made mistakes i've always been afraid.")

but i am not afraid anymore. this is my open letter to you. it warrants no reply; i do not need justifications.

dear ,

my parents raised me good. it is WRONG to put someone else down just so you can feel better about yourself. if you are in a leadership position, use your responsibilities wisely. don't think that the world owes you something just because you are there; rather, you are supposed to give back to the people who entrusted you with the power.

i feel sorry for you. you are so insecured, you feel the need to put others down and embarrasse them so that you can feel good about yourself. i feel sorry that you live in a deluded world where your only concern is what you think is right, even if evidence proves otherwise. most bossess i know make it a habit to be consultative leaders, and see their function as a facililator to open doors for their staff. you somehow make it your mission to dictate and lord over your subordinates, as if you need reassurance that you are the boss.

you are stubborn and obstinated, arrogant enough to think that you can function without any body else's inputs. you are over-demanding, dominating and you turn people off with your high-and-mighty attitude. i will never understand how you got to be like this; it must be due to the fact that you've never had to apply for a job in your life, that you've been poached throughout your working career. (or so you claim.)

you told me once i lack direction and focus. yes, it is reflective of my director. but as of this instant, i dissolve any affiliations to you. to think i gave you the benefit of the doubt. i have lost all respect for you.

so good luck. i hope you can answer the questions that will be thrown to you in The End.

A Buncha Crap

i got this from http://love.ivillage.com/lnsproblems/lnscompatible/0,,bk0x-p,00.html

Birth Order Compatibility: Your Best -- and Worst -- Matches for Loveby Dr. Kevin Leman
Did you know that your birth order can affect your relationship? Find out which marriage combinations work best -- and how yours compares -- in this excerpt from
The Birth Order Connection now.

BEST BIRTH ORDER MARRIAGES
Only child and youngest; first-born and youngest; middle child and youngest: Gender plays a role here as well. If you want the absolute best match, it's female only or first-born marrying a male youngest child who has older sisters. The last born with older sisters is going to be the sort of person who brings out the maternal instinct in women, and the oldest sister is likely to have great maternal urges. The young man has grown up with girls who have doted on him, cared for him, and generally treated him like one of their cuddly toys. This is the same sort of treatment he seeks in a wife, and the best place he'll find it is with an oldest sister. The match works both ways. The first-born needs someone to show her pleasures of sunsets, rainbows, and to remind her that it can be fun to let her mind wander and do something crazy or different. The last-born needs someone to show him that while having fun is a wonderful thing, it takes hard work and perseverance to turn those daydreams into reality.

First Born Married To A First Born: Likely high friction. Either butting heads from day one, or falling into a controller-pleaser relationship. Think John McEnroe and Tatum O'Neal, and you'll have some idea of how difficult it can be to make such a pairing work.

First Born Married To A Middle Child: The danger here is that the middle-born may modify his or her own behavior to please the first-born mate. While the middle makes a good general match for anyone (except, perhaps, for another middle), she may find the first born to be somewhat intimidating and thus need drawing out. If you marry a hard-driving first-born, you may be inclined to give up your own desires and dreams to please your more dominant, first-born spouse. However, if you have last-born tendencies, this can be a very good match for you.

First Born Married To The Last Born: Excellent combination: First-born can teach last-born how to be better organized, and that there are times when life must be taken seriously. The last-born teaches the first-born that it's okay to have fun once in a while.
What are the worst combinations?

Middle Child Married To A Middle Child: Has the potential to go either way. If one of the middle-borns has first-born tendencies and one has last-born tendencies and traits, this can be a good match. On the other hand, if both partners are solid, secretive middle-born communication is likely to suffer -- though you'll do well compromising to get along and keep the peace. Has the least chance of experiencing marital infidelity.

Middle Child Married to Last Born: Works best if the middle born has some first-born tendencies. If the middle is a true middle, he may find himself pulled into the last-born's more irresponsible lifestyle, creating the problems seen in a last-born to last-born marriage. If she has last-born tendencies, there could be trouble. If she has first-born traits, then a great match.

Last Born Married To A Last Born: Be careful here. You may have fun, but you'll also feel like life is getting a little out of control, with nobody in charge. Even last-borns can handle controlled chaos for only so long. WORST FAMILY BLENDOnly-child female and an only-child male: Not only will the two butt heads, but neither will have much of a clue about the other gender.

Female last-born with no brothers and male last-born with no sisters: Not only are you compounding the problems of two last-borns, but neither really knows very much about the opposite sex -- at least in a psychological sense -- and so wouldn't be particularly understanding and supportive of each other.

*From The Birth Order Connection (Revell, September 2001)

what a buncha crap...who wants to join me in proving this wrong?

Full Semi Circle

delicate - damien rice ("so why'd you fill my sorrows with the words you borrowed from the only place you've known")

*does a loooooooooooooooooong stretch*

Ramadan was a good break from this world. out of 10, i'd rate me a 7.5 for my efforts and bettering myself. : ) insya Allah there are lessons to be learnt and i'm sure i won't waste subsequent Ramadan.

this year's Ramadan was also special, it was the last one that i will go thru as a single. next year's insya Allah i will go thru it with awak. sahur with him, fast with him, break fast with him, go prayers with him and wake him up for qiyyam. hah! right...i can't even drag my own butt outta bed some nights...

189 days to my nikah insya Allah...and yes...i have to confirm...i have done nothing! muehahehaehahehaehehahe....yeah i'm waiting for a miracle, a magic wand to appear before me and i can just flick my wrist here and there and things will miraculously appear or confirm by themselves. why am i not feeling excited? or busy with the preparations? (or rather, the lack of it)...well, for a start, much has to do with the fact that my walimah date is not confirmed yet (tho awak started asking) and well...let's just say that mother is rather reluctant to let her favorite second daughter leave the nest, so she's taking her own sweet time on planning and confirming the dates and other stuff. and without mother's ok, my hands are pretty tied. so please...everyone...please be patient. i will most definitely start work pretty soon and will have updates then.

ok i lied. i did make one tiny bit of preparation. planning my honeymoon! YAY! awak has just given the go-ahead to splurge on a 10-day adventure.exploration.discovery getaway...........so where's this mystery location? stay tuned.

it's good to be blogging again. : )

Back and Recharged

mood: still lazy...
music: "you put the lime in the coke you nut..."

i'm back you peeps...gimme a while to settle this new skin...

Closed For Spiritual Maintenance

Is There Something Wrong With Me

mood: oh so lazy
music: these words - natasha bedingfield ("these words are my own from my heart flown i love you")

skipped to a friend's blog and in her links area, i'm listed as "Mrs-Awak-to-be". and all the other people on her links area are listed as such too, Mrs-Somebody or Mr-Someone. so the kaypoh in me clicked at random, just to peep into these people's world.

and every blog i read about was on love. these people's lives with the other halfs. it made me feel weird that i don't blog about awak everyday...and looking back thru my recent entries, i realized i've not blogged about awak in quite a while!

*panic button activated*

err...is there cause for alarm? truth be told...i've not seen awak for about three days now, and the last time was when he saw my back as i walked off from an arguement. yes yes...i know that was a sucky thing to do, walking away does not solve things, i know and if he did it, i would have flown into a rage and pulled him back by his ear! but i felt like i was losing control and it was far better to walk away than to say what was at the tip of my tongue. (it would have made foul-mouthed sailors blush)

so till today we're chilling. both our ego are about wounded from the beating and i hope this has taught us a lesson. that when two people are in love, they will hurt each other more. have respect for the people you love, peeps. respect them and trust that they know what they are doing, and respect them enough to always be honest. respect them as human beings who may make mistakes, and respect them as the people who will be putting you to bed at night when you fall asleep drooling in front of the teevee.

so in honour of awak, and to absolve my guilt, i'm reposting this to remind me what a fantastic baby i have, and thank God for him.

---------------------------------------------------------

mood: got such thing as praying mood?
music: fall to pieces - avril lavinge ("you're the only one i'd be with till the end when i come undone you will bring me back again")

i wanna blog about awak.

i think to awak, i am insane. sometimes downright crazy. i dun eat seafood, will order chicken most of the time, will only drink ice cold pokka green tea, hate shopping, even for things i need. i will remember things better than he does, so unfortunately that will make me remember when something is not done or when promises are not met. when i'm pmstic, i will turn into a crybaby and turn on the tap at the slightest thing.

of all my traits i can be demanding, unreasonable, selfish and downright sarcastic. and awak seems to bear the brunt of things. it's tiring for me to have to explain to him all of my emotions, but i guess it must be equally frustrating for him to get whammed by me left right centre upside down.

but...God is fair. just as i am blessed with a good memory, awak can forget things. he forgets when i've been unreasonably stubborn one day and still wakes me up the next morning with "hello dear!" sometimes he speaks to me in that baby voice that he uses only with me. he has this instinct where he will get me stuff that at first glance i think "oh my god what's this for" only to find that later i actually find it coming useful at times of need. his gift of being calm and collected when i'm falling apart.

i'm like a kite. and awak is my string. he lets me soar into the heights, but he will always keep me attached and grounded so i know my footing. he holds me tightly so i dun get lost in turbulant winds and violent storms. he decorates me, so i look good when i shine. he gives me freedom to be myself in my space, but always pulls me close when i charter into dangerous territory.

i know awak loves me. and the years we've been together are not proof of that - rather, they are a testament of the everyday things that he does to express the love, appreciation and respect he has for me. he loves me, faults and all.

so i thank Him. for granting me His Love, His Peace and His Tranquility thru awak.

NBC 23/09/2005 - 24/09/2005

happy early birthday, bananaz and asap! and thanks to the fantastic 6+1 for a FANTASTIC weekend.

Down By The Sea

mood: stagnant
music: my favourite mistake - sheryl crow ("did you know could you tell you were the only one")

just got back from tangkak/melaka yesterday and now it's back to work. i have got to stop taking these weekend getaways, man...sunday night is not a good day to come back from holiday...

but anyway...alhamdulillah...all's well and that's about it for weddings, as far as my family goes. the next to be married is moi...and she's not even in the mood to discuss that.

for the first time since the longest time the whole family was there. my family was complete. father, mother, sister, brother in law, nephew, brother, me and and awak. (ok well techincally he's not part of the family yet lah but he's getting there. and he is such an auntie-killer!)

my most vivid recollection of this picture perfect moment was on saturday night where we had dinner at this food place near pantai klebang. under the stars, by the sea and a couple of confused waiters, we had a perfect dinner. just us. the entire family complete.

bliss...when can we do this again?

I'm Hot Tempered. Who Loves Me?

mood: don't care-ish
music: out of my head - fastball ("how could i have ever been so blind")

the past two days have been insane. and all thanks to lifeguards.

i tell myself everyday...i must be strong and make the best of the situation that i am in. there is no point in trying to beat the system. some things are beyond our control, yes, i concede that.

but my dear friends, please accept that i cannot and never will be a "yes-man". that is my principle. i will fight. i will put all my cards on the table and i will push and bulldoze my way around if i know that i am on the right side. and i don't care what happens to me in the process, so long as the bigger picture is served. and i can do this because i know what is and what is not important to me. i know that at the end of the day we will all be held accountable for our actions and that makes me responsible.

and i'm sorry, baguana, for being too assertive. i pushed you too hard and i kick myself for that. i need to learn tact, right? yes...so that shall be my OJT for the next couple of weeks. you can claim $8 per hour from IFD. just need to write BRAC paper for IAA to approve. sure get one ok?
: )

You Bloody Racist!

mood: justified
music: let it be - the beatles ("and when the broken hearted people living in the world agree there will be an answer")

today two bloggers were charged for making racist comments online.

under the sedition act of 1948, two men were brought into the district court for making racist comments on malays and muslims. if convicted, they may face a jail term of three years and a $5000 fine.

justice is served.

was it?

whatever lah.

i came across a racist blog the other day, and had a serious discussion with xlrc. of course, he told me what i had always known, but hearing it being said to my face sort of woke me up.

we all have to live with some sort of prejudice and racism, even here in this cozy place we call home. the indians have to live with the fact that people think they are smelly. the malays have to live with the fact that people think they are lazy. the chinese have to live with the fact that people think they are greedy. so what?

yes...humans aren't perfect. actually He created us perfect; we're the ones who destroyed our lives and eroded our values. so anyway...we temporal beings must live with one another in harmony, if not we'll get ourselves extinct. so the point is, we have to learn to live with ourselves. and if you think this is a very politically correct answer, you're wrong.

this is the perfect answer. racial tolerance is such a silly concept. look at the word tolerance! who says i have to tolerate smoky piles of paper burning during the seventh month? who says i have to tolerate the incessant banging of gongs and drums and chanting when there's a funeral at the void deck? i don't tolerate it. i understand it and i accept it. so, my dearest xlrc, i am not being politically correct. i am being honest, coz god knows if i were to try to tolerate the differences that we have to face in singapore, sooner or later i will give up on this system.

yes it's hard. but that's the price to pay.

ps: xlrc, i have to admit it. when i was chatting to you about how generally people here act on their prejudice, you said that it's because the race perpetuates the prejudice. and i agreed with you. i thought that it was unfair for people to judge other based on stereotypes and preconceived notions, to which you replied "hey my girl, life isn't fair".

i felt mad. i wanted to scream at you "when has life ever been unfair to you?!"

just earlier this week i knew when.

and i feel rotten about even feeling the way i did. so i'm sorry.

that's what the apology is for.

Willing To Talk

ANNOUNCEMENT

i'm looking for malay / muslims homosexuals (male or female) under the age of 32 who will be willing to talk to me (or at least email) for a feature story in a local magazine for teenagers. only the real name and contact numbers of the individuals will be disclosed to the writer (which is me) or my editor. strictly no photographs will be used, and pseudonyms will be used in the article.

if you know of any such individuals, please do email me at whynotaai@yahoo.com

Down Time

THE FANTASTIC SIX plus ONE

clockwise from left: asap, coffeebean, chups, bananaz, baguana, viva and ranj

(just some of the peeps who make my life much more beareable at work)

photo courtesy of asap.

Boo Freaking Hoo

mood: grr
music: untitled - simple plan ("so i try to hold on to a time when nothing mattered")

i want to stand on top of a mountain and curse. a lot. and using as much vile and disgusting vulgarities as i can muster. and don't any of you peeps use the c-word or the f-word in front of me...please. i swear i will explode.

it'll be very easy to be upset and get angry. even if i feel violated and taken advantage of, i am powerless to change it.

let's face it. the whole bunch of us in the c-word based division is screwed. what re-org? as far as we can see, this is simply a transfer of division. the people who were hired for a specific function are now forced to perform another function, or better yet, sit down and play rookie to the other people who have been doing the function a lot longer. and there goes a wealth of experience and knowledge. i'm so darn tired. making excuses for people and convincing myself that it's going to be alright.

life is not fair. right. i get it. but who saw this coming?

it's not going to be alright. i'm so screwed.

seriously...wake me up when september ends.

Shop Till I Drop

mood: grumpy and angry and throwing an allowed tantrum
music: diatas normal (beyond normal) - peterpan ("pikiranku patutnya menyedari siapa yang harus dan tak harus ku cari" / my mind should realize who it should and should not be looking for")

oh well peeps! i'm back from a long break away from the cyberworld and ill health thanks to a certain antibiotic called amoxyllin.

i was in kelantan over the weekend for abang ngah's wedding. finally! i love family gatherings such as those (even though i was only half conscious to actually sit thru the entire ceremony). found time to go to pengkalan kubur, very near to the golok border to shop for dirt cheap items like nice fabrics, knick knacks and clothes. of course mother and uda went berserk with the tudong-shopping while i was actually melting under the 35 degrees sun. but still managed to find a very nice telekong for awak to give me as part of hantarans. *yay*!

we also found time to go down to terengganu on saturday. the pasar payang is a huge place! undoubtedly the objective of visiting the market was to buy songkets and batiks for me and awak to make more hantarans. it was there i realized what a terrible bargainer i am. i think i am every shopholder's dream customer. i never question the price, and certainly i don't have the guts to bargain the price down, even though i know i should. hahaha! but that's what uda is for! she bargained the price of the two songket sampings that i bought for awak down that even the shopkeeper was impressed!

and uda also insisted that i go to this boutique silk batik shop. allegedly, it's the best in malaysia and if you want to buy batik, you buy from noor arfa. and at uda's and mother's strongly worded encouragements, i got a lovely deep red batik cloth to make into a nice baju kebaya for awak to give me as yet another hantaran. i'm ashamed to share on the price i paid for that one. it seems terribly exorbitant, even when in rm. but, as uda rightly pointed out, "you get married only once! and this hantaran thing lah is the time for you to get him to give you stuff like this. once you're married, hah! don't even dream. husbands in general never do!"

hahahahaha....is that true guys? awak? really? will our hantarans be the last time you get me nice stuff like that? i hope not...but seriously, i don't mind if you never get me the kindda of stuff that we're having as hantaran...a nice 0.8 carat princess cut diamond solitaire set in platinum will do just fine. : )

so i'm pleased with my hauls...and given more time (and surely more money), me and awak would surely have found almost all the things we need for our hantarans. but since he wasn't there and seriously my pocket was getting lighter and lighter, i decided it was wise to buy stuff we had previously agreed on.

went back to work on toosday...for a dragonboating teambuilding challenge. a very useful session for today, i'm feeling muscles i never knew i had! cliche-dly, it was a fun activity, but it worked when it tried to get us to get to know each other and break the ice among peeps in the new divisions. ranj, baguana, coffeebean and me of course have our reservations about the prof...but we’re all adopting a wait-and-see approach.

but when it comes to work, seriously i don't care anymore.

that's about all that's happening in my world. yeah pathetic i know...but i like my life simple, thank you very much.

here's that seven thingy toots tagged me with. follow the instructions, peeps!

seven things that scare me
1. my ability to sin
2. my ability to forget
3. not getting His blessings for everything i do
4. speeding cars
5. dark places
6. watching incredible tales on channel five (blardee spooky man...)
7. flying cockroaches

seven things i like the most
1. my faith
2. His love
3. chocolate
4. chicken and cheese
5. my liana
6. teh peng
7. ok this one i hate to admit but...awak's corny jokes.

seven important things in my room
1. my praying corner
2. my bed
3. my fan and the wonky remote control
4. my curtains (coz i leave the grilles open and don't wanna do a full monty)
5. cici my cat (hey sometimes he's under my bed)
6. my terribly large collection of bags
7. by laundry basket (which always overflows coz i do laundry like once a month?)

seven random facts about me
1. i have long black hair (which i'm thinking of cutting soon...shld i?)
2. i'm a crybaby during pms-tic times
3. loud
4. i don't care who hears when i sing in the shower
5. i hate cleaning
6. i love cooking
7. the only place in america that i really wanna visit is the yellow stone.

seven things i plan to do before i die
1. pray and repent for my sins
2. repay my parents for every intangible deed
3. complete all the articles of faith
4. get masters in sociology
5. get masters/degree in seerah
6. do umrah at least once more
7. marry awak and have at least four of his kids. (he wants 10. he can have them himself!)

seven things i can do
1. row in a dragonboat (just learnt!)
2. drive
3. sing and yoddle
4. cook a mean spaghetti
5. sleep an afternoon away
6. talk to cici
7. find liana when i've parked it

seven things i can't do
1. read a compass
2. write or read mandarin
3. see beyond 20 meters without my glasses/contacts
4. fix stuff that i've broken.
5. understand why morons and idiots exists
6. remember anything i learnt in sec school maths class
7. my gce o levels combined science paper

seven things i say the most
1. "ha?"
2. "ya Allah!"
3. "sure..."
4. "ta ma de!"
5. "what? why?"
6. "why not"
7. "blinking..."

seven celeb crushes
1. taufik batisah!
2. bryan greenberg - jake in one tree hill
3. milo ventimiglia - jesse in gilmore girls
4. chris pratt - bright in everwood
5. ariel - lead singer of peterpan
6. noah wyle - dr carter in er
7. anthony ruivivar - carlos in third watch

seven people who will have to do this
all y'all who's reading this! even if it exceeds seven!

He Loves Me Yeah Yeah Yeah

mood: i seem to feel pretty happy today...
music: the freshman - the verve ("for the life of me i cannot remember what made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise")

yesterday i took awak to meet cik midah, my family's financial health doctor. she's been pasl with my mom for the longest time and she insures our entire family. so naturally i took awak to her for a quick check up. we discussed a lot about his work and the need for him to be totally insured, thanks to the line he's in. and now he's on the way to being insured.

as i listened to awak and cik midah's animated discussion, i found myself blushing...it was very weird. because...awak kept referring to me as one of his dependents! whenever questions came up about what his financial priorities are, it's always his parents first and then me. when asked how much he would like his dependents to get every month in the event of his death, he turned to me and ask, "dear how much do you want?" i laughed the question off.

we then took off. to my annoyance, we ended up at his carpark.

me: what are we doing here, dear? it's past ten already.
awak: yeah i gotta go upstairs take something.
me: take what? you're sending me back what?
awak: aiyah just go up lah.

so we trudged up to his place. and guess what? future mother in law had made kuih keria for me!

omg...i was floored! it was like the home made kind and it was delicious! she packed like a dozen for me to bring back.

i remember complaining to awak a few weeks ago on how there weren't any good kuih keria stalls around. (well that was before coffee bean took me to that shop at shenton way, THANKS!) i didn't think he'd remember or that he or the future mother in law would go through all that trouble! i was speechless and touched. as we were leaving his place, we passed by the hall was his dad was with a guest, a long time family friend. he salam-ed the guy and pointed to me and said, "tunang saya". ("my fiancee").

so last night i went to sleep feeling very nervous coz for the first time in a long time, i realized that this is serious. with the planning our financial health to being with each other's family and stuff. crunching numbers, i counted 268 days (8.25mths, 38 weeks, 6432 hours, 385920 mins, 23155200 secs) to our wedding.

wow. i'm seriously doing this.

and awak...i don't want your money. i want you to be healthy and alive.